South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 5 Quotes
Tynacorp Leader: You see kids, the Army hasn't been telling the truth.
Kyle: Dude, we don't care.
Tynacorp Leader: They wanted to turn these towels into human killers.
Kyle: DUDE, WE DON'T CARE! We just want our Okama Gamesphere.
(to Mrs. Marsh) You shouldn't have done that. He's just a boy!
Cartman
Towelie: Wanna get high?
Stan: No! We don't wanna get high!
That's my last J asshole!
Towelie
That's it! That's the theme to Funky Town.
Towelie
Towelie: Don't forget to bring a towel.
Stan: What?
Towelie: When you get out of the water you need to dry off right away to avoid catching a cold. That's why Towelie says, don't forget to bring a towel!
Stan: Okay!
Kyle: Thanks Towelie.
Towelie: You wanna get high?
Kyle: No.
Do you wanna get high?
Towelie
Oh my god! Our Gamesphere!
Kyle
Towelie was there for months while they tried to copy his TNA.
Tynacorp Official
Penis or vagina! Right, oral sex. Mmkay.
Mr. Mackey
Sharon: Stanley, do you know why we grounded you for a month?
Stan: No.
Randy: Beating off the dog is never appropriate when we have company over. (glances at Sharon) I mean EVER! Beating off the dog is never appropriate ever!
Chef: Look, schools are teaching condom use to younger and younger students each day! But sex isn't something that should be taught in textbooks and diagrams. Sex is emotional and spiritual. It needs to be taught by family. I know it can be hard, parents, but if you leave it up to the schools to teach sex to kids, you don't know who they're learning it from. It could be from someone who doesn't know, [pans to Mr. Mackey] someone who has a bad opinion of it, [pans to Ms. Choksondik] or even a complete pervert. [pans to Mr. Garrison]
Mr. Garrison: What? Why did you pan to me just now? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
