Stan Against Evil
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on IFCStan Against Evil Quotes
Fleming: Mr. Miller, I'm going to have to ask you to believe me.
Stan: I don't want to believe.
Stan: Gosh, I'd love to help you, but today's a very bad day.
Leon: What happened?
Stan: Well, things were going along pretty swimmingly, actually, and there was a knock on the door. And when I opened it, there was a whole pack of jackasses.
I just want to carve my butter into a chicken like anybody else.
Judy
Evie: Hey, have you ever heard of the New Hampshire State Bureau of Paranorman Phenonema?
Stan: The NHSBPP?
Evie: Yeah!
Stan: No, but that's what they'd be called.
Evie: Touche.
Fleming: It's nice to meet you, Touche.
Evie: No, it's...
Fleming: I know.
Evie: Hey doctor, when can I get out of these restraints?
Dr. Edmunds: [chuckles] That's funny. That's funny. Humor's important.
Oh, shit.
OK. So say it is Hell on Earth. It don't look THAT different. The big change seems to be less people, and that just means less traffic and a helluva lot more parking.
Evie: HEY! Everyone we know and love is GONE!
Stan: Oh, I got a theory on that one's gonna knock your socks off. Gimme two minutes, will ya?
Evie: Wait, what?
Stan: I gotta, I gotta hit the head.
Evie: Can it wait?
Stan: Can it wait. Those were the days!
Barett? OK, it says here that you killed your best friend by impaling him through the chest with a board. Aside from that, how are things goin' for you?
Dr. Edmunds
Dr. Edmunds: So, Evelyn. Would you believe me if I told you that I believe you, and I'm going to do everything in my power to get you out of here?
Evie: Really?
Dr. Edmunds: No. And I really shouldn't joke like that.
Duquette: Did you ever wonder why Evie killed you?
Stan: I just figured "women."
