Stumptown
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on ABCStumptown Quotes
It's crazy, right? You meet somebody in a bar one night, and you have no idea what you're getting into.
Grey
Katrina: Do you follow the signs?
Dex: Apparently not.
Katrina: Oh, you got a ticket.
Dex: I did, I did.
Katrina: Wow, you have a lot of parking tickets.
Dex: Alright, so she's a little finicky. Half turn with a key, count to four one thousand, pump the gas twice, full turn or the horns gonna go.
Parking attendant: I'll just leave it out front.
Dex: Yeah, that works too.
Grey: Why didn't you give him that information after he paid you?
Dex: What kind of soulless monster do you think I am?
Grey: A broke one.
Dex: Yeah, that's a fair point.
Lady, it's okay, take the beer.
Convenience store worker
Ansel: I wanted to see how much you lost.
Dex: Punk.
Dex: There's something wrong here.
Grey: You. Nina's home, so are you. It's time to move on.
Baxter: Are you a cop?
Dex: No.
Baxter: That's what a cop would say, you know, so, I'm gonna have to check for a wire.
Dex: Alright, well, it's a good thing that I wore my second best bra.
Dex: Thanks Took. I owe you one.
Tookie: Don't thank me hit me on Instagram; I need the likes.
The kidnappers' vehicle was spotted at the motel just as you were leaving, so either you lead them to Nina, or you just happened to get there first. Yeah, that's why people call the police when something like this happens. When you hire an amateur, you're gonna get amateur mistakes.
Cosgrove
Lucy: Bull.
Dex: Excuse me?
Lucy: I call bull. Cops don't drive piece of crap cars.
Dex: Well you know what they say in Pashto, he who spreads his own goat dung is bound to step in it.
Guy: Pash-
Dex: To. Yeah, it’s what they speak in the stan.
Guy: Yeah.
Dex: Yeah anyone who actually served there would know that. Your dog tags don’t match the name on your credit card and nothing about your car keys says rental, so I’m guessing you’re not in from out of town either. I know you asked if I was from around here figuring we could go back to my place probably ‘cause there’s a woman back at yours.
Guy: Uh.
Dex: Hesitation, it’s when your body says yes before your mouth can say no, i.e., until you get your lies straight. I’m pretty sure only one of us is getting lucky tonight.
