Succession
Sundays 9:00 PM on HBOSuccession Quotes
Logan: What the fuck did you say to Mark? Making quacks about his Ph.D.?
Shiv: It was a joke. He laughed.
Frank: It seems he did not enjoy that.
Logan: He's a yes, Shiv. He's solid. Why are you even botherin' with him?
Mark: Yeah, I'm actually getting my second Ph.D. right now in Africana Studies from Brown.
Tom: Wow. So you're going to be a double doctor?
Mark: The second Ph.D.'s much harder. Yeah, five years is an absolute gauntlet.
Shiv: Oh, I'm sure. But just think, you know, once you're done, you won't have to waste the 12 seconds it takes to look up something on Wikipedia. No, but seriously though, it's quite an achievement.
Nan: You do have an interesting family.
Logan: Yeah, I apologize for the lateness of my son.
Nan: Well.
Logan: He's been volunteering.
Nan: Really? That's impressive. He has the time even in the teeth of a takeover battle?
Marcia: He's very capable.
Logan: A lot of bandwidth.
Nan: Oh, its wonderful to have such band width. After everything.
Penis cat.
Shiv
Logan: Everybody smile.
Roman: I am smiling.
Shiv: Yeah, not like a fuckin' pervert.
Gerri: Shit before the shovel.
Roman: Allow me to be the shit.
Roman: I've been down in the salt mines so long with my fellow Johnny lunchpails, I no longer speak 1%.
Shiv: Rome, you were slinging candy apples not diggin' the Panama Canal.
Roman: I've seen the world for how it really is, Shioban, and it has changed me. I'm a kettle corn shoveler here to show you frilly clit flickers the truth.
Kendall: Yeah, I don't know. He's, he's just, maybe, uh, he's concerned about me. For whatever reason.
Shiv: Yeah? For whatever reason?
Kendall: You'd need to ask him.
Shiv: You can't tell me? You can't tell me what's goin' on?
Kendall: No.
Shiv: Fucking look at me.
Kendall: Shiv, it's not gonna be me.
Shiv: Alright, you want to tell me why?
Kendall: Come here. Give me a hug.
Shiv: A hug? Hey? You OK?
Kendall: [crying] I would just ask that you take care of me because, uh, if Dad didn't need me right now, I don't exactly know... what I would be for.
Shiv: You want to talk some more?
Kendall: I, I really can't. But, uh, thank you. Yeah, it ain't gonna be me.
Gerri: You're acting like an over-excited little boy.
Roman: You know, technically, I'm your fuckin' boss.
Gerri: Got to bed, Roman. Go to bed and masturbate all your ideas out, and let's see how excited you feel tomorrow.
Roman: Well, maybe I will. Maybe I'll just leave you on the pillow so you can hear my brilliance cascading.
Gerri: Fine. I've heard plenty more than a spoiled brat ejaculating on himself.
Roman: Oh yeah? You sure about that? I could be doing it now for all you know.
Gerri: Well get going. Chop chop. [listens] You disgusting little pig. You're pathetic. You are a revolting little worm, aren't you?
Roman: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I am. [groans]
Gerri: You little slime puppy.
Roman: What else am I?
Gerri: You're revolting, Roman.
Roman: Yes! Yeah!
Greg: Like, I don't know. I don't want to bring up to you anything that feels horrible, but would it be bad for me to mention that to you now?
Tom: Are you ASKING if you can blackmail me?
Greg: No, I would hate that. It's just for context.
Tom: Very well. I accept your blackmail.
Greg: No, I'm not blackmailing you.
Tom: You are though, you piece of shit.
Greg: I'm not!
Tom: Greg, I'm gonna celebrate you. New title, a ton more money, a nice new office. You're movin' up. You can throw away the training bra. A seat at the big table. You like that? Yeah?
Greg: Yeah, I like that.
Tom: You fuckin'. Look at you! Where are they, those papers?
Greg: I'll never tell.
Tom: [laughs] You're a fuckin' slimeball! Atta boy!
God. This is a nightmare. Why couldn't I be the one caught in a lockdown with a maniac?
Connor
Shiv: Well, if the business side could work, then I guess one pitch for the family could be "Waystar isn't coming in to fuck you but to make sweet, sweet Barry White-investment love. Beauty saved the beast would be the spin.
Rhea: I think it's very telling that your most positive spin still sounds a bit rapey?
