Syd: Logan doesn't set our news agenda.
Tom: No! Of course, he doesn't. I know! It's so weird, huh? He happens to own a news company, and they say exactly what he thinks!
Syd: If Logan had to tell me or any of my news editors what to run or what the angle was, we would be fucked! That is not how it works. This isn't mind control. We hire people who want to work here, and we serve a demographic of highly, highly intelligent viewers who are really tired of being patronized elsewhere by latte-sipping douchebags with hundred-dollar haircuts. You've got the cool job title. You've got freedom of movement. Why don't you take a look somewhere more comfy? Entertainment.

Logan: You're a young woman with no experience.
Shiv: A woman. That's, that's a minus.
Logan: Well, of course, it's a fucking minus! I didn't make the world!
Shiv: You make a small part of it!

I feel God-like and horny. Everybody looks like two-feet tall to me.

Tom

Gil: Listen, long road to travel and all of that, but the compass points to Pennsylvania Avenue. I have to start thinking about appointments. I'm thinking about Chief of Staff.
Shiv: Oh. Wow.
Gil: Yeah. I mean, can you imagine the look of fear in their eyes when they see you coming at them? Those corpulent, old, white fucks? Yeah. How's that for a carrot, hmm?

Roman: Gerri, come on. I need something. Kendall's doing shit.
Gerri: OK. How about this? You do shit. What have you got?
Roman: One idea. Pivot to video.
Gerri: Yeah, they already tried that.
Roman: Can you just come over? I want you in the room.

Can you check if Richard's turned off that fuckin' Alexa? Not just off. Unplugged. I've got enough spies after me without Bezos in here, too.

Logan

Tom: Three months ago I was at a meeting about how to stop kids from giving each other handy jobs on the runaway ghost train, and now I'm about to manage a billion-dollar news budge, so it's all good.
Shiv: I have my first handjob on the ghost train.

Let me just make it very clear -- Kendall Roy is no longer relevant.

Stewy

Greg: Being at ATN, you know, is kind of like the one thing I didn't want to do?
Tom: Oh, OK. Should I have left you at parks to sink? I mean, it's ATN man. It's the fuckin' news.
Greg: I know.
Tom: It's Logan's G-spot. I can finger-bang him all night long. I'm a direct, direct report. What?
Greg: Sure. Just? ATN, it's like, kind of against my principles?
Tom: You're principles?? Greg, don't be an asshole. You don't have principles.

Greg: Dude, ATN is a very toxic element in the culture.
Tom: Seriously, OK, then name me one principle that you have.
Greg: I don't, like, um, I'm against racism.
Tom: Bullshit! I'm against racism. Everybody's against racism! What else?
Greg: Like, don't lie.
Tom: Fuck off.
Greg: Like if you're the news.
Tom: Fuck off. That's your principle?
Greg: Yeah, dude!
Tom: Greg, this is not fucking Charles Dickens' world, OK? You don't go around talking about principles. We're all trying to do the right thing. Of course we are. But come on, man. Man the fuck up!

Roman: We're gutting Vaulter.
Shiv: Oh yeah?
Roman: Yeah.
Shiv: Is that a good idea?
Roman: Fucking great idea. It's Kendall's baby, and now we're gonna burn it. [chuckles]

Greg: The place is a time machine. It's like 45 minutes every time they need file, it's all the way at some warehouse in Queens.
Tom: OK... So?
Greg: So, I don't know. How come it isn't digitized? The whole of ATN. It's totally analog, Tom.
Tom: So, I could fire people, correct? If we did this? If we digitized?

Succession Quotes

Open the doors. It smells like the cheesemonger died and left his dick in the brie. I need to breathe.

Logan

Kendall: Um, my dad wanted me to ask is there any way through this, you know, ah, uh, an asset swap, something else, ah, that leaves you happy and him in control.
Stewy: As you know, our position is that we're really after the whole thing.
Kendall: Right, then he wanted me to tell you to say, yeah, obviously our public line will be to say we're considering the offer, but it doesn't matter what you say. He'll never recommend this to the board. You are going to bleed cash. He's going to bleed cash. It will never end, and maybe you'll kill him, but if you don't he'll kill you. He will go bankrupt or go to jail before he lets you beat him. He will kill you on the business, and if that doesn't work, he will fuck you around. He will send men to kill your pets and fuck your wives, and it will never be over, so that's the message.
Sandy: Good. Well, let's move ahead with that process, shall we?