Josh: Why are you sorry? They should be sorry. What, they can't take the extra three minutes it would take to let us catch up?
Daphne: Josh, I got this.
Josh: You guys are training to be doctor's, right? To heal people would are sick. You guys are douchebags! Did you know that?! Total douchebags!

You think I give a rats ass that you have a kid waiting for you back at whatever put you came crawling out of? I don't! I wouldn't think twice about writing you off and getting you locked up like Robbie just so I don't have to look at you anymore.


Daphne: I'm so sorry that this turned into such a mess.
Bay: Yeah
Daphne: That's why I'm not going to Gallaudet. I know that you didn't ask me too. It's just the right thing to do; stay.
Bay: You don't get a medal for not going.
Daphne: I know that. I just wanted to be around for you. For whatever you need.
Bay: Well I need you to not be here right now.
Daphne: What?
Bay: I need you to leave my room.
Daphne: Bay...I
Bay: No. Seriously.

Emmett: Bay and I had plans. She had a life we were excited about and you ruined it.
Daphne: I know and I'm sorry. But she'll be out there soon.
Emmett: No, she won't. Her probation got extended because she did something stupid which she never would have done if she hadn't been there in the first place.
Daphne: What are you talking about?
Emmett: Everyone has let you off the hook. Your parents, your sister, those stupid cops who believed this stupid lie. Daphne had a meltdown and so the whole family has to pay for it.
Daphne: Stop yelling at me and just talk to me, please.
Emmett: No one's telling you anything because they're afraid you're too fragile. But I'll tell you. There is no forgiving you for this. Ever.

Kathryn: Morning.
Bay: Mommy!
Kathryn: Mommy?
Bay: Is it Christmas?
Kathryn: Yes.
Bay: OK. I want you to make gingerbread pancakes and then I want you to sing Christmas Carols all day long. Oh, and baking. I want to bake!
Kathryn: Oh honey, stop. I know that you and I are really, really different. We always have been. I love all this stuff and you don't. I need to stop forcing it on you.
Bay: Mom, I love every single thing about our Christmases. That's not entirely true. But, every family has a little crazy and if I have to have crazy, I prefer your crazy over anyone else's.

Regina: The whole perfect Kennish Christmas thing makes me feel like you were cheated out of this storybook life; like you somehow drew the short straw because you got stuck with the single mom.
Daphne: Mom! I love our Christmases.

FauxDaphne: This is unbelievable. Apparently the only time Emmett and I have been naked together, rubber duckies were involved.
FauxBay: OK. I'm telling you. J & K are about ten minutes away from a very conscious uncoupling.
FauxDaphne: There's one more thing. Regina's drinking.
FauxBay: Oh no. Again?
FauxDaphne: I don't think she ever stopped. Think about it. She got sober after she found out about the switch. If that never happened...

John: Well, I see you're still using your mom's beauty products.
Toby: Good to see you, too, John.
John: Bay! Ready for some wind sprints?
Kathryn: She just worked out.
John: Yes, I'm aware of that Kathryn. Olympic Medalists don't just work once a day and then sit on their butts the rest of the day. It's crunch time. And yet, why am I explaining that to somebody who works 90 hours a week?
Kathryn: Don't do that. Don't pit Bay against me.

Bay: You have to admit, life would be a lot easier if we had never been switched.
Daphne: I was just thinkin' the same thing.

Come on, Mom, what is with you? You're like the cruise director on the cruise to Christmas hell!


It takes three hours to open presents? We don't usually put that much emphasis on gifts.


Don't worry. Whatever happens, this will give me mad street cred as an artist.


Switched at Birth Quotes

Daphne: I didn't know you liked horror movies.
Kathryn: I haven't seen one since I was your age. Amityville Horror and it wasn't nearly as scary as the boy I saw it with.

Bay [about Angello]: He's not on parole.
John: He is with me.