Ted Lasso
Wednesdays on Apple TV+Ted Lasso Season 1 Quotes
George: I love what you done with the place. Did you do it yourself, or did you get some pouf to help ya?
Rebecca: I could ask the same of your hair.
Hey, takin' on a challenge is a lot like ridin' a horse. If you're comfortable while you're doin' it, you're probably doin' it wrong.
Ted: We're supposed to be meetin' with a Rebecca Welton.
Nate: Yeah, that's where I'm taking you.
Ted: Oh! Look at this guy, one step ahead. Hey, what's your name, by the way?
Nate: Me?
Ted: Yeah.
Nate: No one ever asks my name.
Ted: [anticipating] I mean, whenever you're ready.
Nate: Oh! It's Nathan.
Rebecca: How do you take your tea?
Ted: Well, usually I take it right back to the counter because someone has made a horrible mistake, but when in Rome, right? [accepts the cup] Well, look at that. [slurps]
Rebecca: Well?
Ted: You know, I always thought that tea was going to taste like hot brown water, and you know what? I was right. It's horrible. No thank you.
Rebecca: Welcome to England!
Rebecca: Would you like to take a tour?
Ted: Yeah; I'd love to see Abbey Road.
Rebecca: Of the club.
Ted: Yeah! Let's start there.
Rebecca: Oh, do you believe in ghosts, Ted?
Ted: I do. But more importantly, I believe they need to believe in themselves.
Rebecca: So, how was your first day?
Ted: I'm not exactly sure what y'all's smallest unit of measurement is over here, but that's about how much headway I made.
Siri! Call shithead!
Rebecca
Nate: Wait, you're gonna use my play?
Ted: We're gonna try it on and see if it fits. It might not. Then again, it might be a very flattering silhouette. I might wear it right out of the store. Makes me feel good, start to strut. Oooh, I like this. I like the way this makes me feel.
Ted: See? What'd I tell you, huh? This woman right here is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I tell ya, I'd hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off it, either.
Rebecca: Oh, that's not a compliment I've had before.
Keeley: Yeah, you do have perfect, action-figurey arms.
Rebecca: Oh, there's another one.
Roy: Yeah, just thought you should know that your boy, Nathan's been harassed every single day by Jamie and his little side pricks.
Ted: Right.
Roy: So you know already.
Ted: Yep.
Roy: So you'll take care of it.
Ted: No.
Roy: What the fuck?
Ted: Roy, I learned two pretty big lessons on the rough and tumble playgrounds of Bookridge Elementary School. One, if little Ronnie Fouch offers you a candy bar, you immediately say no and get the hell out of there cause there's a good chance that little son of a gun has pooped inside of a Butterfinger wrapper. No one ever saw him do it, but a couple people ate it. Number two, teacher tells a bully not to pick on someone, it's just gonna make it worse.
Roy: So you're not going to do anything?
Ted: No. [Roy sneers and leaves]
Beard: Why you windin' him up?
Ted: Because he's the one, coach. If we're gonna make an impact here, the first domino need to fall right inside of that man's heart.
Jamie: Can you curl 40 kilos?
Roy: No, but I can use your balls as a speedbag. Do you want to try that?
