Carol: Wait a second, are you watching Game of Thrones? You can't like Game of Thrones.
Tom: Why not?
Carol: Because I like Game of Thrones, and we haven't agreed on a TV show since the OJ Trial.

• Permalink: We haven't agreed on a TV show since the OJ Trial.
• Added: October 28, 2014

What is this? No fault divorce? This isn't a no fault divorce! We need one that says his fault divorce.

• Permalink: We need one that says his fault divorce.
• Added: October 28, 2014

I'm all set for my Mom and Dad to sign the divorce papers. The snacks are out. You're getting the drinks, and I've got 911 on speed dial.

Nathan

• Permalink: You're getting the drinks, and I've got 911 on speed dial.
• Added: October 28, 2014

You're really going for the low-hanging fruit. I'm surprised they go for yours.

Carol

• Permalink: You're really going for the low-hanging fruit. I'm surprised they are going for yours.
• Added: October 21, 2014

You're barking up the wrong gay with this guy.

Kip

• Permalink: You're barking up the wrong gay with this guy.
• Added: October 21, 2014

He never let you have closure. What kind of a man breaks up a marriage over a text-a-gram?

Carol

• Permalink: What kind of a man breaks up a marriage over a text-a-gram?
• Added: October 21, 2014

Straight lips. Straight lips. Straight lips.

Kip

• Permalink: Straight lips. Straight lips. Straight lips.
• Added: October 21, 2014

Carol: How did it go?
Nathan: We're dating.
Carol: Are you being facetious? If not, I owe your Dad 20 bucks.

• Permalink: Are you being facetious? If not, I owe your Dad 20 bucks.
• Added: October 21, 2014

I did my time. I ain't going back to Shawshank.

Nathan

• Permalink: I did my time. I ain't going back to Shawshank.
• Added: October 21, 2014

Debbie: Across the hall. How close were you to burning down the building?
Nathan: I had the matches in my pocket.

• Permalink: How close were you to burning down the building?
• Added: October 21, 2014