Favorite The Office Quotes
In nature, there is something called a food chain; it's where the shark eats a little shark. And the little shark eats a littler shark. And so on and so on. Until you get down to the single cell shark. So now replace sharks with paper companies and that is all you need to know about business.
Michael
Two nights ago, I went to an Alicia Keys concert at the Montage Mountain Performing Arts Center. I had scored these great aisle seats. Anyway, after the opening act, this beautiful girl sits down next to me. And I never get to meet girls with lip rings. And she had one. I don't know exactly how this happened, but one of her friends started passing around some stuff. And they said that it was clove cigarettes. And I'm sure that it was clove cigarettes. Everybody in the aisle was doing it.
Michael
Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them, but now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask so they can hear me say, "Uhh...no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."
Michael
Dwight: I can't believe you came.
Michael: That's what she said.
Everyone, guys. Circle up, please. Come on over. Bring your chairs. Toby, come on over. You're a guy... too. Sort of.
Michael
Michael: Tube city. You owe me one.
Jim: [interview] Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles I picked was Michael's idea of running plastic tubes all over the office with hamsters inside of them. He called it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.
Michael: "Women in the Workplace." Yeah. Translation: I have been banned from my own conference room so that Jan can talk in secret to all the girls - oh, sorry "women of the workplace." About what? I don't know. Clothes. Me.
Five minutes ahead of schedule... Right on schedule.
Dwight
Those who can't farm, farm celery.
Dwight
Ryan: Did you see Saw?
Dwight: Of course I seesaw, Mose and I seesaw all the time.
Trust you? The way Pam trusted you to provide for her so she wouldn't have to work?
Angela
Michael: They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. I say an empty desk means an...
Dwight: Empty mind.
Michael: I was not going to say that.
