Popular The Office Quotes
[on his purple belt] This is not a toy, this is a message to the entire office so that everyone can see I can physically dominate them.
Dwight
Kelly: [practicing karate] HI YAH! Hey that was pretty close!
Dwight: Good, now let me take you from behind.
Kelly: WHAT?!
Michael: Look, Dwight here is a wuss. When we rented "Armageddon", he cried at the end of it.
Dwight: Michael, I told you! It was because it was New Year's Eve and it started to snow at exactly midnight!
Michael: [As Dwight] "Oh, are they really gonna leave Bruce Willis on the asteroid? Boo-hoo!"
I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran. Killed twenty men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father...battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
Dwight
Michael: Pam, I hate to break this to you, but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough.
Pam: He's a purple belt, that's really high.
Michael: Oh God, I could beat up Dwight, that's ridiculous. I can murder him.
Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm... easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Michael
The Albany Branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so that we all could go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight.
Jim
Michael: C'mon, hit me...
Jim: I can't. I just got a manicure.
Michael: Oh, queer! [looks at camera] ...eye. Queer eye! Good show, important show.
Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Michael
Pam: Wait, are those Michael's Levi's?
Ryan: Yeah. Who dry cleans jeans?
Michael and his jeans. He gets in them, and I'm not exactly sure what happens, but I can tell you, he loves the way he looks in those jeans. I know that's why he started casual Fridays.
Pam
[on the phone] All right, done deal! Thank you very much sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar! [pause] Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. My mistake. [hangs up] That was a woman I was talking to... so, she had a very low voice. Probably a smoker. So that's the way it's done!
Michael
