It's like a girl says she'll make out with you, but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon.

Michael

When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman Empire. And the Wild West. And war-torn Poland. And Poland. It was just a lot going on

Dwight

Michael: I have dibs. Do you respect dibs?
Dwight: (scoffs) I'm not a barbarian.

(watching Michael on the phone, consulting a Rolodex card) It took me a month to put all his Rolodex numbers into his Blackberry, which he now uses as a nightlight.

Pam

(talking to Dwight on phone) I want you to listen to me, friend, and I want you to listen to me good. I'm going to come at you, and I'm going to come at you hard. I'm going to steal all of your clients, and then I'm going to kill them in front of you.

Michael

The Office Season 5 Episode 24 Quotes

(watching Michael on the phone, consulting a Rolodex card) It took me a month to put all his Rolodex numbers into his Blackberry, which he now uses as a nightlight.

Pam

(talking to Dwight on phone) I want you to listen to me, friend, and I want you to listen to me good. I'm going to come at you, and I'm going to come at you hard. I'm going to steal all of your clients, and then I'm going to kill them in front of you.

Michael