The Office Quotes
Darryl: All I know is if I was a girl and had to choose between a tall dude who loved Asia, and a you-lookin' dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters, I'd choose you.
Andy: That's really nice, thank you.
Darryl: And I'd blow your mind.
In the Schrute family the youngest child always raises the others. I've been raising children since I was a baby.
Dwight
Pam I have a loaded gun in my desk at work, and if I ever start acting like that weeny Gabe, I want you to take that gun and I want you to shoot me like a hundred times in the groin, until I'm dead. Okay?
Michael
Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse.
Dwight [to Angela]
Of all feelings to base a show around, glee? Thirst, now that's a show I'd watch.
Dwight
There's this thing on Glee called mash-up where two things that don't go together make one great song. Take Gabe. Take Michael. You make Gay-Mike. Best friends.
Erin
Andy: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? 60 miles to the gallon in the city.
Kevin: No, I bet he's wishing he was strangling somebody.
Gabe: What if it's another Waco?
Erin: It's pronounced wacko.
You know how these things go...construction projects, they say three months and then after two years the lazy bums haven't even started. Now we're those lazy bums.
Michael
Welcome to the party, everyone have their Koooool-Aiiiiid?
Ryan
Why you always gotta be so mean to me?
Toby [to God]
Hello, it's Dwight from the vestibule. You wanna know my 11th commandment? I will not be undersold. I am ready to love thy neighbor with these kinda discounts.
Dwight (on phone)
