The Office Season 5 Quotes
Kelly: Should I seduce him?
Angela: No. No one wants to see that.
Angela: Thanks again, Charles.
Kelly: Thank you.
Michael: Nobody thanked me.
Jim: Thanks, Charles.
Michael: For breakfast.
Charles: Oh, uh, Pam? Hey everyone, lunch is on me today.
Angela: That is so unnecessary!
Michael: Are you kidding me with this? On the day that I bring in breakfast?
Charles: It's no big deal.
Michael: I wish you had told us sooner, because I was going to go to the vending machine and get an egg salad.
Charles: You still have that option.
Michael: I don't need to be managed, Charles. And if you want pick up some tips, observing here, and take them to the other branches, it's all good. But Jan would mostly come by when she was super horny, and Ryan would come by to visit his parents and do laundry, so... Are we clear?
Charles: That's not how I plan on doing things.
Michael: Ok, alright, well I'll just bounce that off David, see what comes back.
Charles: I'll tell David what he needs to know. Sorry. David wants it this way.
Michael: Whatever David wants.
Charles: Ok.
Michael: I just got off the horn with David Wallace, and he said that you and I should try to get to know each other better. And I agree, so what I would like you to do is tell me something that you've never told anybody before.
Charles: No.
Michael: Come on. What's your wife's name? Where did you work before you came here?
Charles: Saticoy Steel.
Michael: Beautiful. See, African-Americans have such a rich history of unusual names.
Charles: No, I worked at a company called Saticoy Steel.
Listen, why don't we just leave that position vacant? Truth be told, I think I thrive under a lack of accountability.
Michael
Dwight: Ask him about the party.
Michael: [on speakerphone] Oh, right. David, are you coming to my 15th anniversary party?
David: I'll give it my best shot, Michael.
Dwight: No the other thing.
Michael: Oh, ok. If we hire Cirque de Soleil as salaried employees, will that help us with year-end tax stuff? [longsilence]
Dwight: He hung up?
David: No.
Michael: [on speakerphone] David, it was my understanding that I was not going to be managed.
David: What gave you that idea?
Michael: It was my understanding.
David: I see.
I am thrilled that the new boss has taken such an active interest in all of the responsibilities that I'm supposed to have. Thrilled.
Michael
Michael: Ok, ok, you know what? I think this has been great. I think this gives us a lot to think about, doesn't it? Charles Miner, ladies and gentlemen. [starts round of applause] He has a long trip home. Thank you for coming in. We have to get back to work.
Charles: Michael, I'm going to stay for the day.
Michael: Oh no, no, no. You don't have to do that. I've got this covered. This was just a meet-and-greet.
Charles: No, it's a little bit more than that. I'm going to set up in here, ok?
Charles: Yeah, I will. What I told Michael last week-
Michael: Charles is going to tell you.
Charles: Is that we are cutting three percent across the board, which means we will no longer be matching 401k contributions. All overtime requests will need to come through the corporate office.
Stanley: Fantastic.
Michael: Well, it's not official.
Charles: It is official. It is official. And actually, guys, I'm encouraging branches to consider a freeze on discretionary spending.
Charles: Thank you, Michael. Thank you for the C-shaped bagels.
Michael: Oh! Well...
Charles: That's great.
Michael: Above and beyond.
Charles: Hey, you know we're in tough times and we're not immune to this economy.
Michael: That's true.
Charles: But the goal is to, you know, fight our way through this.
