The Office Season 5 Quotes
Michael: This little hell-raiser is Angela. She has slept with a bunch of different guys in the office. One over there, in the orange [points to Andy]
Andy: Hey-o!
Michael: There you go! Where's the other?
Charles: You know, Michael, I don't need to know everyone's sexual history.
Michael: Well, perfect, because we have now arrived at Kevin and he has no sexual history.
Kevin: Hey!
This is Oscar Martinez. He is Latino. And he just got out of a long-term relationship with a man, Gil, who broke his heart. But he didn't bring any of that into work, it did not affect his job performance whatsoever and I am very proud of him for that.
Michael
Pam: He just had to wear his tux today.
Jim: I thought it'd be funny.
Pam: Took him 40 minutes to get ready.
Jim: Hey, how you doing? Jim Halpert, sales. Just wanted to say, if you need anything, let me know.
Charles: Why are you wearing a tuxedo?
Jim: I didn't think you'd notice. Uh, it's funny actually, there's another salesman out here, Dwight Schrute, and he sent out this memo, as he always does, and, uh, it was about professionalism in the workplace. Of course, he singled me out. So I just had to mess with him.
Charles: Uh.
Jim: Oh, you'd understand if you read the memo which I should probably get you, there's probably one in a drawer... uh. It was pretty crazy. But, uh, not more crazy than wearing a tux, at work, I grant you that... so, uh.
Charles: Your name is Jim?
Jim: Jim Halpert, yep. So, um, just going to let you get back to it...
Kelly: My god, he's like a black George Clooney.
Angela: Really? I don't see it. I mean, he's ok, he's not unattractive, it's ...
I met this guy at corporate last week and we were just digging each other's vibe. I was totally grooving on him and vice-versa. And besides, the last two people to have his job were Jan and Ryan. The former was my lover, and the latter my best friend. So, who knows? I do. [in British accent] It's gonna be mental! It's going to be mental.
Michael
Michael: Surprise! As you can see, I turned the bagels from O's into C's, for Charles.
Charles: Thank you.
Michael: Took me all night.
Pam: This is what you did last night?
Dwight: Originally founded in 1866, Scranton quickly became one of Pennsylvania's largest anthracite coal-mining communities.
Michael: Surprise, there is nothing in here. The real surprise is in the conference room. Let's go! Oh! God! Ok, come on, come on!
Dwight: We'll finish it up later, but essentially what we're talking about is...
Michael: Well, well, well, who have we here? Ah, it is Prince Charles Miner. At your service. Everybody, this is Sir Charles Miner and he is the new VP for the Northeast region. So, just give it up for this big guy, right? Give it up. [leads round of applause] Here he is.
Charles: I was-
Michael: Wow! Hold that thought. I want everybody to go into the break room. I have a little surprise for you. Go ahead. You too. Dwight, would you escort our guest in there? C'mon, here we go, don't be shy, don't be shy, you're one of us. [whispers] Dwight, stall him a little, I have to get the fish.
Jim: Hey.
Michael: Yes.
Jim: Really wish you would have told me the new boss was coming today.
Michael: What? No, I didn't want to make everybody nervous.
Jim: Nope. I mean, I could have brought a change of clothes, or-
Michael: You look dynamite. What are you talking about? Very slick. Ok, get the fish.
Pam: Hi, can I help you?
Charles: Yeah, I'm Charles Miner, here to see Michael Scott.
Pam: Sure. Just one second. Please have a seat.
Michael: [on speakerphone] Yes?
Pam: Michael, there's a Charles Miner here to see you.
Michael: Miner? I hardly know her! Hello?
Pam: Yeah, are you coming out now?
Michael: Uh-huh.
Dwight: Oh, here's one: a string quartet, playing classy-cal music.
Michael: You know, that's good but it's not classy. I need something classy like the opening of a car dealership.
Jim: That's it. Or Mr. Peanut.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Mr. Peanut is not classy.
Michael: He is.
Dwight: He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle and a top hat.
Michael: That's what makes him classy.
Last week, Dwight sent out a memo about the dress code. So, this is me showing him that I'm taking it very seriously.
Jim
