The Office Season 5 Quotes
Wallace: Did you shout "fire," causing a panic?
Dwight: Yes, I shouted fire. I shouted many things. I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building so you can imagine my frustration, as safety officer, when nobody would heed of, would heeded, heeded of--
Michael: Headed of-
Dwight: When no one would take headed of my instructions.
Michael: Heed. Take heed.
Dwight: I don't see my co-workers-
Michael Scott: Take heed of-
Dwight: -heeding this. Right now.
Wallace: Right what?
Michael: The city... Dwight. We are not mad. We are just disappointed.
Wallace: No, we are mad.
Michael: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.
Wallace: No, we're not!
Michael: I am not a mind reader, David.
Wallace: How could you possibly think this is a good idea?
Dwight: A lot of ideas were not appreciated in their time.
Michael: Electricity.
Dwight: Shampoo.
I guess I don't have what it takes to be a film critic. I could be a food critic. These muffins taste ... bad. Or maybe an art critic. That painting is ... bad.
Andy
[to Jim and Pam] Milady. Mi-Tuna.
Andy
[singing, to the tune of "What I Like About You"] We're stuck listenin' to you all day ... Stanley tried to die just to get away.
Andy
The fire is shooting at us!
Andy
I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry.
Oscar
I'd just like to say for the record that I didn't kill anyone. Stanley was attacked by his own heart. And he should be released from the hospital and back to the office in a couple of days.
Dwight
So it wasn't Dwight after all. It looks like I'm the killer. You never expect yourself to be the killer. It's a great twist. Great twist.
Michael
What we've proven here is that laughter is the best medicine. So Stanley, go ahead and throw away those pills - you're cured. [pauses] Actually, you better hold onto the pills, just in case.
Michael
Michael: Jim: You're 6-11 and weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, you're teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela ... where's Angela? Whoa, there you are, I didn't see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are... [Stanley laughs] Oscar, you're gay.
