Gotta go wash my eyes. That kid's gonna have a lot of hair.

Michael

She's also fully effaced, which... I don't know what that is.

Jim

I love escorting people... I put an ad out for an escort service and got A LOT of responses. Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.

Dwight

Michael: Should I bring a dictionary?
Oscar: The hospital will provide dictionaries. Bring a thesaurus.

Michael: Is it midnight yet?
Phyllis: It's 4:35.

Pam: Don't be mad.
Jim: Mad? How could I be mad? We're having a little girl.

Kevin: Maybe we should cut holes in her shirt.
Meredith: I have a shirt like that in my car.

No one touch Pam's nipples! Think of Pam's nipples as Toby's grundle.

Michael

Phyllis: I can put on lipstick the way Molly Ringwald does in The Breakfast Club.
Michael: I don't think anyone wants to see that.

Pam, you are a woman warrior.

Kelly

I'm sort of a master of distraction. When I was a kid, my mom received complaints left and right from my teachers that I would distract everyone around me.

Michael

Speaking as a former baby, don't get too hung up on baby names.

Andy

The Office Season 6 Quotes

Jim: You gotta figure this out.
Andy: How?
Jim: Have sex with a woman.
Andy: Oh, yeah!
Jim: Then a man. Then compare.

Andy: [on gay rumors] For the record I prefer women, but off the record, I'm kinda confused.
Jim: Really.
Andy: The evidences are stacked against me.