God walked in and decided to go out for lunch.


Divorce is kind of like a death except you have to run into the guy every now an then, preferably not with his young girlfriend.


I'm not sure if this is martini madness or just madness.


Just because she can be annoying, it's not her fault; she was born that way. I'm the one who's being a bitch.


I'm not under attack. I'm attacking you bitches. I'm sick of being nice to all of you.

He's part of me, and he may not be good for me but he really is part of me.