Eat your plum, Eli. Sometimes it's better to get bitten than to starve.


Sometimes I think I married the wrong brother.


Pete: I'm a man of my word.
Cesar: You're last name is McCullough.
Pete: I'm not my father.

The fact is you can't win anything around here without the Mexican vote.

The Sheriff

There are consequences for a man's decisions no matter what his last name is.


Sally McCullough, I had no idea it was possible for a wildflower to grow indoors.


Is this one of those vaudeville routines or are you working your way up to a question?


Jeannie: You're going to get drunk.
Eli: Oh, honey, if you're about to lay down as much bullshit as I'm about to lay down tonight, you'd get drunk too.

Great goddamned way to start a birthday party.


The Son Quotes

Sally: Should we cancel this party?
Pete: We can't. We gotta show the world south Texas is a great place to do business.

Great goddamned way to start a birthday party.