The Sopranos Quotes
Dr. Melfi: Do you want to tell me what you're thinking?
Tony: Believe me you don't want to know. You want to know what I'm thinkin'. Seriously. I'm thinking I'd like to take a brick and smash your fucking face into fucking hamburger.
Dr. Melfi: Do you think making hamburger out of me would make you feel better?
Tony: Mother of Christ. Is this a woman thing? You ask me how I'm feeling. I tell you how I'm feeling and now you're going to torture me with it.
I stick motherfucking provolone in my socks at night so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning! All right? So leave the fucking, cocksucking cheese where it is!
Silvio
Dr. Melfi: Now that you found out that you have a retarded family member, do you feel better about coming here?
Tony: What?
Dr. Melfi: Is it permissable now? Is it enough of a sad tragedy that you can join the rest of the douchebags?
(on Silvio) Don't let him scare you. He's not really a nasty fuck. He's an incredibly nasty fuck.
Frank
(to Junior upon hearing that he had another uncle) I remember my mother and my father arguing about something and she kept talking about my father's feeble minded brother and I always thought she meant you.
Tony
Acting is mostly feelings unless the actor's driving a car or sword fighting or something.
Adriana
(to AJ after he throws a phone) Forgot to tell you I got a job at Radio Shack. Product testing. Giving that phone a F for durability.
Tony
(sees blow on guy's moustache) Don't you even own a mirror? You look like you've been French kissing the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Christopher
Christopher: (practicing for drama class) He's a player and he's trying to fuck this broad.
Adriana: Where does it say he's trying to fuck her, Christopher?
Christopher: Please.
Adriana: Maybe he's not. Ya ever think that's why he's the gentleman caller? Maybe he's a gentleman.
Christopher: (on seeing Furio) What the fuck! Is he on vacation?
Paulie: Yeah, he saw a travel poster for sunny New Jersey.
Christopher: It's my scene. The gentleman caller guy is not me.
Drama Teacher: It's not supposed to be. That's why they call it acting.
(to Richie) There are men in the can, better lookin' than my sister.
Tony
