Meadow: Socially, I don't know. This one girl told me there's this saying, "Bates is the world's most expensive form of contraception."
Tony: Hey, what kind of talk is that? You mean the girls at the other colleges we've been to, they just put out?

Did the Cusamano kids ever find $50,000 in Krugerrands and a .45 automatic while they were hunting for Easter eggs?

Meadow

There is no Mafia.

Tony

Maybe being a rebel in my family would have been selling patio furniture on Route 22.

Tony

Carmela: Tony hates building fires. Here we have this beautiful fireplace and those same three logs have been in there since Lincoln split them.
Father Phil: Fear of fire. A good deterrent to keep him out of hell.
Carmela: Maybe there is hope for him.

Father Phil: You know what's remarkable? If you take everything Jesus ever said, add it up, it only amounts to two hours of talk.
Carmela: No. No, but wait. I heard the same thing about The Beatles. Except it was, if you add up all their songs it only comes to ten hours.

(at confession) I have forsaken what is right for what is easy. Allowing what I know is evil in my house. Allowing my children...Oh my God my sweet children to be a part of it because I wanted things for them; a better life, good schools. I wanted this house. I wanted money in my hands, money to buy anything I ever wanted. I'm ashamed. My husband, I think he has committed horrible acts. I think he has... you know all about him Father Phil. I'm the same. I've said nothing. I've done nothing about it. I've got a bad feeling. It's just a matter of time before God compensates me with outrage for my sins.

Carmela

(to Father Phil) Is there a commandment against eating ziti?

Carmela

Carmela: I was thinking about when we watched Casablanca last week.
Father Phil: That new print is great, huh?
Carmela: You know when Bogie says: "Of all the lousy gin joints in the world why did you have to pick mine." Of all the finook priests in the world, why did I have to get the one who's straight?

One thing about us wiseguys, the hustle never ends.

Tony

(on Tony) I thought therapy was going to clear up the fucking freak show in his head.

Carmela

I'm in a waste management business. Everyone immediately assumes you've mobbed up. It's a stereotype, and it's offensive.

Tony

The Sopranos Season 1 Quotes

(to Mahaffey) That's a shame. A medication comes along after your gambling gets your fucking hip busted to shit.

Big Pussy

Dr. Melfi: Have you ever had a prostate exam?
Tony: Are you kidding? I don't let anyone wag their finger in my face.