Favorite United States of Tara Quotes
Charmaine: Guess what I did. I didn't sleep with him. I didn't let him sleep over, and... perhaps extended this lovely thing yet another day by continuing to treat myself like a special prize he has to win.
Kate: Oh, really? So was it you or that special prize that was having a screaming orgasm at 1:30 in the morning?
Gene: I have friends all over Barnabeez. That means when there's something squirrelly scooting up the flagpole, I get a call.
Kate: I think you get a call because you can't keep your penis out of the face of every girl who works for you.
Gene: Penis is not an acceptable word for the workplace.
Tara: I don't remember what happened at boarding school, but I do have vivid memories of a few weeks afterwards. It was a month until summer break, and I couldn't wait to get out. I'm such a total summer person. And I remember I wore my bathing suit under my clothes every day. And while everybody was going to class and going on with their lives, I just sat in my dorm window, waiting for summer to come.
Jenny: Did it?
Tara: The next thing I remember is snow. Everywhere. I was at my parents', and six months had gone by in an instant and it was just white.
Tara: Yeah, well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not having much luck bringing any of my alters out.
Max: I thought this guy was the shit. And at home, we can't get them to stay in.
In the words of police chief Martin Brody, we need a bigger boat.
Marshall
Gene: You're the one.
Kate: No, I'm not.
Gene: Yes, you are. From the moment you walked in with that silly blue streak in you hair, I knew I would never be the same. As a manager or a man.
Kate: Wow.
Gene: Wow indeed.
Oh, I don't wanna hear about anyone's vagina. Especially not a coupon-clipping mom vagina.
Marshall
Send a red carnation from your little closet.
Marshall's school friend
It's an apron relax.
Chinese checkers - I've got Chinese checkers here!
Max
