Katie: Nice whale-tale.
T: Quite hating. You wish you had all this.

Dude, I have been digging around in your closet for an hour and I can't freaking get to Narnia.

Charmaine: I like romantic comedies that star Kate Hudson where women fall down a lot.
Buck: People fall down a lot in [wrestling] too.

Therapist: What did the alter look like?
Max: Some kind of...poncho goblin.

Let your freak flag fly.


Buck went a little Colonel Kurtz last night.


Dr. Ocean: It's just one of your alters showing a side we've never seen.
Tara: Great, now my alters have alters.

Max: Honey, listen to me. I'm sorry, but there is no way that you could be pregnant. Tara has an IUD.
Alice: Oh, pooh, I don't believe in those things.
Max: Well, I don't think it matters if you believe in 'em.
Alice: The Lord works in mysterious ways. The magical spirit of an infant can wriggle its way around that mean old devil's tree in no time.

Marshall: I hate labels. Have you ever thought about what it would be like if there were no labels on anything in the store?
Jason: Pretty random basically.
Marshall: Yes, okay. So people would take the stuff home and they would make it and eat it before they even knew if they liked it or not.
Jason: And I bet a lot of people would throw out a bunch of stuff that sucked.
Marshall: And I assert that the same amount of people if not more would find new things. New things that they loved.

That's right! This is where they all end up! In Hell! A hell far worse than you ever could've imagined. Homos! Racists! Gavin Newsom! Movie stars! Vegans! Butt-fucking fruits!

Demon Tour Guide

Tara: Any way you can help me understand Gimme?
Dr. Ocean: I believe that Gimme holds all your raw emotions. It's Gimme's job to keep the truth from coming to light.

Max: Is Mom here?
Marshall: Yeah. I mean Mom's here... but I'm not sure Mom's here.