Life is long and you're my man.

Everyone's a taker - everything's a thing.


Kate: Hey do you know anyone who's happy?
Marshall: No.

Oh honey, you're so pretty, but you've always made decisions like an ugly girl.

Tara and Charmaine's mom

Lionel: I feel so bad for breeders. Being gay is like living in a buffet.
Marshall: And people say romance is dead.

Tara: Do you do that to me? Make up wildly heightened emotions just to manipulate me into being there for you?
Charmaine: Of course not. Only to mom.

Kate: I get it your rich - whoop didily dee...Zack can have anything he wants.
Zack: That remains to be seen.

Will having a little f**king grace kill you?

Superman slept with someone else?


Completely believable explanation.

Tara: What's going to happen to us - what's going to happen to our family?
Max: I don't know. I don't know.

Marshall: Nothing too splashy and in your face?
Lionel: I might be splashy and in your face if you're not too careful.