Matt: We're here for Ric, right?
Tyler: I'm here for the free booze.

• Permalink: I'm here for the free booze.
• Rating: Unrated

Enzo: That was uterly adorable.
Stefan: What are you doing in my bedroom?

• Permalink: What are you doing in my bedroom?
• Rating: Unrated

Hello mother, I think it's time you and I have a talk.

Stefan

• Permalink: Hello mother, I think it's time you and I have a talk.
• Rating: Unrated

Elena: Want some?
Damon: Do you deliver?

• Permalink: Do you deliver?
• Rating: Unrated

Elena: I love you.
Damon: 'til death do us part.

• Permalink: 'til death do us part.
• Rating: Unrated

Tyler: To Alaric Saltzman, who after today will have sex with only one woman for the rest of his life.
Matt: Seriously, just one. You can't even look after this.

• Permalink: Seriously, just one. You can't even look after this.
• Rating: Unrated

Enzo: Relax, relax. I'm not here to cause mischief.
Bonnie: Says everyone who has ever caused mischief.

• Permalink: Says everyone who has ever caused mischief.
• Rating: Unrated

Goodie! More amends! Drinks will help. Strong ones.

Caroline

• Permalink: Goodie! More amends! Drinks will help. Strong ones.
• Rating: Unrated

Ric, if there's anywhere you should be superstitious, it's Mystic Falls.

Elena

• Permalink: Ric, if there's anywhere you should be superstitious, it's Mystic Falls.
• Rating: Unrated

Damon: What do you think I should do?
Stefan: That's the thing, Damon. I can't tell you. Elena can't tell you. You have to want to be human for yourself.

• Permalink: That's the thing, Damon. I can't tell you. Elena can't tell you. You have to want to be human...
• Rating: Unrated

Elena: People are uncomfortable around Salvatores in tuxes. It stirs...feelings.
Stefan: Uh oh. Elena's human again. Am I sensing another brother swap?

• Permalink: Uh oh. Elena's human again. Am I sensing another brother swap?
• Rating: Unrated

Alaric: What rhymes with battlefield clamp?
Jo: Divorce?

• Permalink: Divorce?
• Rating: Unrated