Tavares: Amanda, I love you. You are totally saving my behind.
Amanda: More like an A-plus-hind.

Betty: Henry can you believe it? We saved the day, I am totally wonderful.
Henry: I snatched a purse, I'm kind of a bad ass!

Alexis: Do you need a condom? I've got one in my wallet.
Rodrigo: This is your first time as a girl, isn't it?

Alexis: I don't know how this is possible but I guess you don't know...
Rodrigo: That you used to be a man?
Alexis: That made it to Brazil?
Rodrigo: You're international Alexis Meade, like the house of pancakes

Daniel: So you would screw me over just to piss off dad?
Alexis: Yep
Daniel: You have a cold heart Alexis
Alexis: Had it installed with the other upgrades

Wow I've never known anyone whose been blackmailed before. It's so all my children, which I used to watch with my mother, and I don't know why I just said that

Henry [to Daniel]

I loved my prom, and 9 months later I had a wonderful reminder of it
[Hilda rubs Justin's head]

Hilda

Tavares: Mrs. Slater
Wilhelmina: Do I know you?
Tavares: Uh no
Wilhelmina: Then stop talking to me

Ignacio: Hilda, you were out with Santos. I heard you climb the drain pipe. Did he at least walk you to it and give you a boost?
Hilda: You never let up, God I hate this house! I'm so out of here when I'm fourty!

Amanda: Good morning sloppy
[Betty makes a face at her]
Amanda: What? I said good morning

Justin: That's great. We need a party. We'll have a theme: crossing the border. We'll have a big fence in the door and make everyone climb over it.

Amanda: You got messages. Christina called like twelve-hundred times. I'm pretty sure she was drunk dialing. And your nerd lover keeps sniffing around.
Betty: Henry is not my lover. And just throw away the messages from Christina.
Amanda: Oh, someone's got their bitch on.

Ugly Betty Season 1 Episode 20 Quotes

A job is not about making friends, it's about making money and stealing office supplies. By the way, we are out of coffee filters

Hilda

Betty: What are you doing sneaking in my window like your back in high school?
Hilda: I was out last night, with Santos, but I don't want Papi to know or Justin, yet. I mean I don't know if this is I love you or I love you naked
Betty: OK, so you are back in high school