Veep
Sundays 10:30 PM on HBOFavorite Veep Quotes
Tom: You really should have been there. You know, it's one thing I've learned. In politics, a lot of the best stuff happens after hours.
Selina: Oh, is that so Captain Morgan? Thank you so much for man-telling me that.
Tom: I believe the word you're fumbling for is mansplaining.
OK. Listen to me. Jonah, if anyone asks, tell them you were chemically castrated. It's very easy to lie about, and believe me, no one checks.
Teddy
Wade: The one thing I learned about hip-hop artists before anyone else is that the artists would sign away the publishing rights for next to nothing. [chuckles]
Selina: [chuckles] That's an incredible anecdote.
I split the bill on all my dates. Why would I pay for a girl to get fatter?
Jonah
Tom: I love you.
Selina: I love you, too, Tom. Go fuck yourself.
Tom: Selina, I mean it. You're in my head all the time. You always have been, and you always will be. I love you.
Kent: She's having a textbook aneurysm.
Gary: She looks like a goddess.
It would reassure the people that look like him that, uh, the country wouldn't be ruined by people who look like her.
Kent
Selina: And Mike works with the internet now, right? Tell him we got a big scoop.
Ben: Texting him now.
Kent: I saw him at the sundae bar earlier struggling with the sprinkle dispenser.
What? How dare that smoothe shit sack cheat on his wife and risk his political future with someone who is not me?!
Selina
Reporter: Thousands of women have joined #NotMe and said they have never dated you and never will.
Jonah: OK, thousands of UNATTRACTIVE women.
OK. Well, I guess I need to go and congratulate him now. I'm going to choke him with that giant cock of his, see how HE likes it.
Selina
Selina: I could move more air my farting.
Gary: I'm sure you could, ma'am.
