Warehouse 13 Quotes
Theadora: Hi, there, welcome to Ted's. I'm Theadora, but everyone calls me "Ted." Party of one?
Artie: (about Mrs. Frederic) No, no, I'm meeting that woman right over there and it's rarely a party.
Myka: "Baylor Dodgeball. Used for military dexterity and agility training. Multiples upon contact." That we already know. "Acquired after the... bludgeoning deaths of five cadets in 1972."
Pete: Uh, uh, bludgeoning is b-bad.
Myka: Agreed, Agreed.
Myka: I just hope she's okay, you know?
Pete: Claudia's like bamboo. You can bend her all you want, but she'll never break.
What else? Okay, "repair auto-vac." Slice-o-pie. "Tighten and lubricate zip line." Sounds kind of dirty when you say it like that.
Claudia
Myka, one day will you know all answers to all questions. Just not today.
Artie
Pete: Done! I win! Ha ha ha ha!
Myka: It's not a race.
Pete: Said the tortoise to the hare.
Myka: You know, in the story, the tortoise actually wins.
Pete: It's a fairy tale. How is a turtle going to beat a rabbit?
Myka: It's not a fairy tale. It's a fable, a life lesson. "Slow and steady wins the race."
Pete: Here's a life lesson. Pete fast, Pete win.
Myka: We don't even know what we're looking for.
Pete: Why would this time be any different?"
Pete: Maybe the old Bible banger had something that was curing the crazy.
Myka: Right.
Pete: Maybe this is what Mrs. Frederick meant by "endless freaking wonder.
Claudia: Would it have killed you to put a warning label on this thing?
Artie: Saying what? "Only put on in case of stupid?"
Claudia: Oh, hi, Artie. Hi. Huh, funny story. So I kind of, uh, tried to fix this light bulb, even though you expressly told me not too. And man, have I learned my lesson! You're so right about the is place. You just never know what to expect. Okay, you're pissed. Can we move past that part for now and get to the part where you get me down from here?
Artie: That wouldn't be Volta's lab coat that you're wearing?
Claudia: All part of the hilarious story I should really tell you when I'm back on planet Earth.
Myka: What's he in for?
Pete: He killed his wife. A lot.
Myka: You use soap on a rope?
Pete: Hey, I don't judge your personal hygiene products. Although you might wanna invest and get some moisturizers. You look a little dry around the nose.
Myka: Oh, you want to swap beauty tips. Then we can talk about the hair that's sprouting from your shoulders, your nose, and, your, umm, ears.
