Nancy: Why do you do that whole sexist thing? That whole oppression thing?
Club owner: Because you scare the sh*t out of us.

Doug: I'm on fuego. You want to dance?
Nancy: No I'm okay.
Doug: Andy?

Shane: We'll let the lab decide.
Silas: Lab?
Shane: DNA my brother or should I say half brother.

(to Silas) He's so your f*cking dad.


Guy that they hit: Give me a hundred bucks and we'll call it a day.
Andy: That seems to be the popular number these days.

Hey man, sorry we dented your house.


84720. I was an accountant. Numbers were my thing.


(to her dead parents graves) You think marrying a Jew was bad, you should have met this little guy's father.


Silas: So what do you think is in the locked room at the end of the hall?
Shane: Probably a shrine to our mom.

(to Mr. Schiff) You keep a picture of our mom in your wallet?


What's mine is yours. Except that telescope. Nobody touches that telescope.

Mr. Schiff

Shane: It definitely happened.
Silas: Gross.
Andy: Hey never confirmed.
Doug: They had sex.

Weeds Season 6 Quotes

Nancy: Shane - Don't let go of that stick thing.
Shane: It's called a mallet.

It's cool how the lights change color. Wonder if it's a salt water pool - doesn't sting your eyes like chlorine. Not that that's her problem.