Popular Wilfred Quotes
Heyyyy, J Murder. What's up little man? Still shitting whenever? Niiice.
Wilfred: Ryan, check out this internet site I found. It's for people who just want to have raunchy, demented sex...no strings attached.
Ryan: Stuffanimalstore.com?
Why am I listening to sibling advice from a guy who ate his own sister's ears?
Ryan
Wilfred. Ear!
Seems like you're not the only one who can do spot on impressions, huh Bear?
On the count of three, let's both say our penis sizes. 1, 2, 3, tiny!
I think we have all the evidence we need. I say we go back to Genaro's, maybe split an appetizer, definitely try the cannelloni with walnuts and fried sage - it's all anyone's talking about on Yelp - and then stab Michael's face three or four dozen times.
The nether-regions have got to be here somewhere. I'll find them.
Kristen: You took Joffrey out without his hat? He could have gotten pneumonia!
Ryan: I'm sorry. I didn't think about it.
Wilfred: I actually did think about it, but I wanted Joffrey to catch pneumonia because, well, dude's a dick.
Oh you love Joffrey now? Look at his hairline. It's only going to get worse!
Wilfred (to Bear)
I doubt it would have worked out anyway. He drives a Honda...and he's so pale.
Kristen
He's not saying that. She's speaking FOR him. He didn't do a smelly poo poo for her. He did it for his dead brother.
Ryan: I, on the other hand...
Wilfred: ...was an antisocial virgin with drawn on pubes. I get it.
