Swinging was supposed to be my marriage's dying gasp, not theirs. How the fuck are these two getting out of this alive?

Joe Voiceover

I put my best friend in a cage. oh my god, I am so grateful for you. I don't know anyone else who would understand. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Love

No, I should've known the marriage was over two years in when your father stopped wanting to do anal.

Dottie

What is it you think you're doing with Love Quinn?

Matthew

Love: I know you're not Sherry's biggest fan.
Joe voiceover: I'd rather fuck a cactus.

Dealer: So FYI this is a service, someone's gonna deal so I serve the means of medicating the public as well as protecting communities likely to be profiled by the police. I donate all my proceeds to NAMI. The National Alliance of mental illness?
Joe Voiceover: I'm starting to think this generation might save us all.

Cary: If you don't want to fuck yourself, how is someone going to want to fuck you, my man?
Joe voiceover: Oh, of course. Cary is Cary-sexual.

Love: I think that' the best sex we ever had.
Joe Voiceover: Yes, it was. The spark our marriage needed doesn't come from swinging. Our love language is violence.

You're loyal, that's what makes you a good person, but Love has no loyalty to anyone but herself. If anything were to happen to you, I'd never forgive myself.

Dottie

Could Love have killed her first husband? I've been so worried about her hurting you that If ailed to remember I am also fair game.

Joe Voiceover

Theo: I know that it's not true what the Conrads said that you did.
Love: What did the Conrads say?
Theo: That you killed Natalie.

Friends and neighbors, I'd like to thank you for welcoming my family with open arms, but you didn't. I moved to the suburbs because I bought into the dream, community, prosperity, and most of all safety. But I never felt safe here, judged from day one for my past, my body, how I raised my child. If I wasn't perfect, I would lose it all, a game so rigged that it would only exist in a world that hates women, especially mothers. But what choice did I have? But I played, and I realize that your fence, your doorbell cam, you're telling yourself that you're keeping your family safe but it's a lie you're too afraid to do what you need to do to really protect your own. I am not a coward, I do what has to be done to protect my family. I killed the adulterer next door. I killed the anti-vaxxer who sickened my child, hunted down the reporter who threatened us.I trapped the couple who tried to sabotage us, forced them to really see each other. I forced my husband to play along. But in the end, he was a coward too. And when I realized he had come to hate me, I killed him. Better than a messy divorce. Everybody keeps their dignity. When the shock wears off and you feel safe jogging in your expensive athleisurewear again, remember, you can get off the hamster-wheel at any time.

Love

YOU Season 3 Quotes

Me, a boy, and his mom, who is usually great but occasionally murders people with her bare hands. What could go wrong?

Joe Voiceover

Joe Voiceover: I never thought to wonder what happens after boy met girl because we know. "And they live happily ever after." Fade to black. Roll credits. I should've asked more questions because I've been in some harrowing situations in my life, but this, I could really use a map. But I forged my way in the dark before, I can do it now. I have to. To protect our daughter.
Doctor: Congratulations, dad. It's a boy.
Joe: It's a boy?
Joe Voiceover: I'm fucked, and so is he.