Charisma Carpenter Quotes
Xander: Okay, let's not say something we'll, uh, regret later, okay?
Cordelia: You crazy freak.
Buffy: Vapid whore.
Xander: Like that.
Cordelia: Time out, Xander. Put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute, OK? I'm Buffy, freak of nature, right? Naturally I pick a freak for a boyfriend, and then he turns into Mr. Killing Spree, which is pretty much my fault...
Buffy: Cordy! Get outta my shoes!
Cordelia: I’m just trying to help, Buffy.
Xander: Go away this is my hiding spot.
Cordelia: Where do I hide?
Xander: You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity.
Cordelia: What's the plan?
Xander: The vampire attacks you.
Cordelia: And then what?
Xander: The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice.
Xander: Hi! For those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person. So, this spell might restore Angel’s humanity? Well, here’s an interesting angle: Who cares?
Buffy: I care.
Xander: Is that right?
Giles: Let’s not lose our perspective here, Xander.
Xander: I’m perspective guy. Angel’s a killer.
Willow: Xander...
Buffy: It’s not that simple.
Xander: What? All is forgiven?! I can’t believe you people!
Cordelia: Xander has a point.
Xander: You know just for once I wish you would support me! And I realize right now that you were and I’m embarrassed. So, I’m gonna get back to the point...which is that Angel needs to die.
Giles: Curing Angel seems to have been Jenny’s last wish.
Xander: Yeah? Well, Jenny’s dead!
[A fight breaks out]
Cordelia: So he spit it out? I thought Angel liked blood.
Buffy: He used to.
Willow: Maybe his eyes were too big for his stomach.
Buffy: Or maybe there was something in Gage's blood that Angel didn't like. Say, for example, steroids?
Willow: That would explain all their behavioral changes.
Cordelia: And their winning streak.
Willow: So maybe whatever's in their blood is what's attracting this creature to them.
Cordelia: Well, all I know is that my cheerleading squad wasted a lot of pep on losers. It's about time our school excelled at something.
Willow: Hmm, you're forgetting our high mortality rate.
Xander: We're number one!
Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's-it's...it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it.
Buffy: No. James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did. And no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid, it is just something he's gonna have to live with.
Xander: He can't live with it, Buff. He's dead.
[Buffy leaves]
Cordelia: Okay. Over identify much?
Willow: Buffy’s not in here for cosmetic surgery.
Cordelia: No, but while she’s in here she might as well get that thing done. You know, that thing on her face. You know...that thing.
Willow: Do you think Angel will attack Buffy in here?
Xander: He can come in. It’s a public building.
Willow: That’s true.
Cordelia: Am I the only one that’s noticed that thing?!
Cordelia: What about you?
Xander: I’m going to stay here.
Cordelia: Oh, right. Your obsession with protecting Buffy. Have I told you how attractive that's not?
Xander: Cordelia, someone's gotta watch her back.
Cordelia: Yeah well, I've seen you watch her back.
Xander: What is that supposed to mean?
Cordelia: Well, I was using the phrase 'watch her back' as a euphemism for 'looking at her butt.' You know, sort of a pun.
Willow: I'm good at medical stuff, since Xander and I used to play doctor all the time.
[Xander laughs uncomfortably and Cordelia stares him daggers]
Xander: No, she's being literal. She used to have all these medical volumes and diagnosed me with stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong.
Willow: Wrong? Why? How did you play doctor?
Buffy: I...never have.
Buffy: Maybe it wasn’t Death? Maybe it was something else?
Cordelia: So, this isn’t about you being afraid of hospitals ‘cause your friend died and you wanna conjure up a monster that you can fight, so you can save everybody and not feel so helpless?
Giles: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
Cordelia: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass.
Cordelia: Eww, what does this do?
Giles: What?
Cordelia: What does this do?
Giles: Uh, it extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells.
Cordelia: Wow. What does this one do?
Giles: Um, it elongates its mouth to, uh, engulf its victim's head with its incisors.
Cordelia: Ouch. Wait, what does this one do?
Giles: It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.
Cordelia: Boy, there's a demon for everything.
