Charisma Carpenter Quotes
Oh! Near faux pas. I almost wore the same thing.
Cordelia Chase
Cordelia: Xander, I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there's anything I could ever do to...
Xander: Do you mind? We're talking here. So, where were we?
[Cordelia walks away shocked]
Willow: Wondering why we never get dates.
Xander: Yeah. So, why do you think that is?
Cordelia: Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you were gonna be digging up dead people sooner, I would've canceled.
Xander: All right, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you page us before they eat your flesh?
[Cordelia leaves the library]
Giles: Xander...
Xander: Huh?
Giles: Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living.
Xander: Yeah, I knew that. But did you see the look on her face?
Cordelia: I’m gonna give you some advice: Get over it.
Buffy: Excuse me?
Cordelia: Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain. Spank your inner moppet. Whatever. But get over it, because pretty soon you’re not even gonna have the loser friends you’ve got now.
Buffy: I think it’s about time you start minding your own business.
Cordelia: It’s all in the past.
Cordelia: You're really campaigning for “Bitch of the Year”, aren't you?
Buffy: As defending champion, you nervous?
Cordelia: I can hold my own.
Jenny: What do we do now?
Willow: We've gotta get to the library!
Cordelia: Library. Great!
[She turns the car around]
Willow: Of course, we generally walk there.
[Cordelia drives the car and crashes through the school’s door]
Cordelia: Hey, you think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them REALLY know me. I don't even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes when I talk...everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word I say.
Buffy: Well, if you feel so alone, then why do you work so hard at being popular?
Cordelia: Well, it beats being alone all by yourself.
Cordelia: Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Mrs. Miller. She was helping me with my homework. And Mitch, and Harmony. This is all about me. Me, me, me!
Xander: Wow! For once she's right.
Buffy: So, you've come to me for help?
Cordelia: Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons... I was kinda hoping you were in a gang. Please, I don’t have anyone else to turn to.
Looks like someone digs you. That’s adorable. You and the dummy could tour in the freak show...
Cordelia
[The dummy turns his head away]
Cordelia: What?
Giles: Oh, I'm sorry. Umm... your hair, uh...
Cordelia: There's something wrong with my hair?
[She touches her hair]
Cordelia: Oh my God.
[She runs away panicked]
Giles: Xander was right. It worked like a charm.
Xander: You're in love with a vampire? What are you outta your mind?!
Cordelia: What?
Xander: Not vampire. How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates them!
Cordelia: Where did you get that dress?!
[She chases another student]
Cordelia Chase: This is a one-of-a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knockoff? This is a knockoff, isn't it? Some cheesy knockoff! This is exactly what happens when you sign these free trade agreements!
Buffy: Think we have problems?
Cordelia: Owen! Look at you here, all alone.
Owen: Cordelia, I’m here with Buffy.
Cordelia: Oh, okay. You want to dance?
Owen: No...I’m still here with Buffy.
Cordelia: You are so good to help the needy.
Buffy: Cordelia, Owen and I would like to be alone right now. And for that to happen, you would have to go somewhere that’s away.
[Buffy pulls Owen in closer to dance]
Cordelia: Well, when you’re ready for the big leagues, let me know.
