Cheryl: Poor cherub. But, I must admit I’m surprised you’d trust me with such precious cargo.
Toni: I loved you, and I felt your love. And I know the huge capacity for love your heart has, and that’s exactly what Brita needs right now.
Cheryl: Well, then I’d be honored.

Veronica: As I said, I’m hosting an exclusive by-invitation-only auction. The centerpiece of which will be some palladium doubloons I’ve acquired. Some of my guests have been asking about the palladium’s origins and I want to say that it came from your mines.
Cheryl: Not a problem! I’m always happy to let you namedrop my family in order to screw over your father.

Cheryl: What are you so happy about?
Penelope: Life, Cheryl. Everlasting life.

Nana Rose: The curse! The curse of our ancestors demands that all living Blossoms must die! Unless…
Cheryl: Unless?
Nana Rose: We sacrifice the interloper!
[Awkward silence]
Minerva: Oh hell no!
Cheryl: No, Min Min!
[Minerva runs out of the house]

Nice try, you simpletons! But, you’ll be shocked to learn the contract you have is totally devoid of meaning. I had Nana Rose declared legally senile half a decade ago. She has no power to do anything. Now, it’s time for you to accept the fact that you will NEVER get my precious groves. Tootles!


Cassandra: We lost … again. We totally could’ve been practicing for regionals instead of wasting our time here.
Cheryl: I couldn’t agree more, Cassandra. Could not. Agree. More.

Ms. Marble: As an outsider, it seems to me that fate has put an obstacle before you, Ms. Blossom. This Toni’s personal happiness. You must either rise above it or…
Cheryl: Throw a little chaos at it.

Toni: Well, well, well. If it isn’t Ms. Winchester herself! You’ve come for another surprise visit, Cheryl?
Cheryl: Thank you for taking care of the River Vixens whilst I was self-isolating, but as Elton John likes to say, “The bitch is back in town!” and this squad is my birthright.

Jughead: It’s getting pretty full in there.
[Jughead pulls off his beanie and throws it into the time capsule]
Cheryl: Finally.

Cheryl: You know I love you with every ounce of my soul, but I don’t want you to have to choose between your family and me. And perhaps if I’m successful, you won’t have to and we can be together with their full blessing? But, in the meantime…
Toni: Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear you say it.
Cheryl: Then you never shall.

Cheryl: But I don’t understand, did you pick me?
Toni: For tonight, I did. My Nana said if I didn’t get home by midnight, she would never speak to me again. I hope you can understand?
Cheryl: Of course. Toni, family is the most important thing. Go and by with your nana, and thank you for tonight. Despite those moments of video horror, I’ll treasure these memories … always.

Cheryl: Poor Ms. Bell, you’ve fallen under the monster’s spell.
Ms. Bell: Do any of you have any idea what that man has done for this school? This year alone, he personally arranged for six low-income students to go to colleges on full scholarships.
Jughead: Wait, really?
Ms. Bell: Also, this year’s average GPA is higher than it’s been in decades, and more seniors will be going to college since 1956. Oh, and of course, no students have died under his watch.

Madelaine Petsch Quotes

Betty: Why are you asking me so many questions about Polly? Cheryl?!
Cheryl: Because, you dumb cow, someone shot my brother and I think it was your crazy tweaked-out sister.

Kevin: Is cheerleading still a thing?
Cheryl: Is being the gay best friend still a thing?!