Cheryl: Poor Ms. Bell, you’ve fallen under the monster’s spell.
Ms. Bell: Do any of you have any idea what that man has done for this school? This year alone, he personally arranged for six low-income students to go to colleges on full scholarships.
Jughead: Wait, really?
Ms. Bell: Also, this year’s average GPA is higher than it’s been in decades, and more seniors will be going to college since 1956. Oh, and of course, no students have died under his watch.

Betty: I think a part of me has been in love with Archie for 10 years, Cheryl.
Cheryl: False. You’ve been in love with the idea of Archie. The idea of the perfect romance. That wasn’t real, that was fantasy. In this town of nightmares, you and Jughead found each other. That’s real. That’s maybe even, dare I say, endgame? Who knows?

Cheryl: On behalf of Kevin Keller and the entire student body, we urge you to hear our plea. Hedwig is not some fringed downbeat musical.
Toni: It’s fun! It’s an old fashioned red-blooded American musical comedy with something for everyone.
Cheryl: Including those of us who are more … strait-laced.

Cheryl: What about you and Archie canoodling?
Betty: That was just pretend.
Cheryl: I don’t know, cousin, that looked pretty real to me.
Betty: Well, yeah, that was the point.
Cheryl: Right. All I’m saying is your secret is safe with me.

Cheryl: I’d like us to find a way to work together in blissful harmony.
Ms. Appleyard: Cheryl, I’m the coach, you’re the athlete. The power structure couldn’t be clearer. As for your muffins, could I suggest a little less time baking and a little more time in the weight room?
Cheryl: My body is perfection, you crone! And you may be the coach, but I think you’ll find that the Vixens are mine. Forevermore.

Cheryl: Look, I’m not sure what Honey told you, but we don’t need a coach. I run the show around here. Howevs, we are looking for a laundrywoman.
Ms. Appleyard: From now on, we’re going to change things up. The Vixens are a cheer squad, so we’ll be focusing on cheers, not signing and dancing to pop songs. Now, gather the rest of the girls and meet me out on the field, so we can practice some drills. Okay?
Cheryl: I’m sorry. Am I hallucinating or did you just give me an order?!
Ms. Appleyard: I led my last team to Nationals three years in a row. I think I know what I’m doing here.

Cheryl: We Blossoms have always been highly carnivorous. I mean, I ate my brother Julian in the womb. And, you’re eating those meat pies we prepared especially for you.
[Fester crunches and hits something]
Cousin Fester: Oh, my tooth. What on earth?
[Fester pulls a ring from his mouth]
Aunt Cricket: What?
Cousin Fester: Is this Uncle Bedford’s ring?!
Aunt Cricket: What does this mean?
Cheryl: It means, Aunt Cricket, that you’re welcome to search the house. It means that Uncle Bedford will never be found. It means that any evidence of him ever being here is in the process of being … digested. In other words, I think you know what it means.

Cheryl: What … what are you all doing here?
Penelope: Julian needs a body, Cheryl. So, we’re giving him yours!
[Cheryl screams]

Darius: I went into the basement…
Cheryl: Halt! You went down to the basement, specially I ordered you not to. You didn’t go into the chapel, did you?!
Darius: No! Miss Cheryl…
Cheryl: Thistle House has never had rats!
Toni: But Babe, we did hear something last night. Remember?
Cheryl: You’re right, Ti Ti. And suddenly, I am feeling the presence of a rat. A 6” tall rat with muscles and bedroom eyes. Darius, I knew you were a mistake from the beginning, so … you’re fired. Tootles!

Your name may be “Honey,” but I will always be the queen bee. You have no power over me.
[Cheryl hair-flips and walks away]

Cheryl

Cheryl: Well, well, well. Stop the presses! The Riverdale rag finally reported a story accurately. Not only is there going to some hideous janky parade snaking its way through town, you four are the architects of this outrage.
Veronica: What’s your problem, Cheryl?
Cheryl: My problem, Veronica, is that the Fourth of July is a day of tragedy for Riverdale. Not celebration. Or have you forgotten what happened to my poor brother Jason?
Betty: Cheryl, Riverdale hasn’t held a parade out of respect for what happened to your brother in like years. It’s time.
Jughead: I mean, you don’t have to come.
Cheryl: Oh, I’ll be there, Insufferable Smurf. Front and center. With a sign of protest in one hand and a horn of compressed air to silence any revelry in the other.

Betty: Cheryl, The Farm is a front. Kevin ... Fangs ... Edgar took their kidneys. There’s a refrigerator filled to the brim with human organs. The Farm is an organ farm!
Cheryl: Are you trying to get shipped off to Shutter Island, you lunatic?
[Betty opens the cooler to reveal an organ]
Cheryl: Oh my God! Is that?
Betty: Yes! Cheryl, what if this is why he keeps adopting kids? For his human chop shop. Based on the price list in the infirmary, it’s lucrative as hell.

Madelaine Petsch Quotes

Betty: I think a part of me has been in love with Archie for 10 years, Cheryl.
Cheryl: False. You’ve been in love with the idea of Archie. The idea of the perfect romance. That wasn’t real, that was fantasy. In this town of nightmares, you and Jughead found each other. That’s real. That’s maybe even, dare I say, endgame? Who knows?

Betty: Why are you asking me so many questions about Polly? Cheryl?!
Cheryl: Because, you dumb cow, someone shot my brother and I think it was your crazy tweaked-out sister.