I don't think I'd share a drink with Deena or a cigarette with Deena or anything that has to do with Deena's lips in the near future.

Every guy has a dream of having a threesome with two women, obviously. Maybe not with Deena and Snooki, but, um, I was going along with it only because it was a threesome.

I was lookin' for that threesome... it turned into just the D-some.

It's like having chicken put on the table with salt and pepper, then somebody takes away the chicken and then you're left with salt and pepper.

Deena likes to call herself a 'Holiday,' I call her 'The Holiday Inn.'

We just got chemistry, you know? And I'm not talking about the class.

If anyone can help these two crazy individuals, it'd be Sitch ... and I tried, but it backfired.

The answer is ... day one, I had to pull the eject button.

Mike: I'd like to give a trophy to who did the least in this house. Let's vote right now.
Sammi: I don't give a f**k.

The bugs in the Everglades are huge. They're about the size of Snooki.

Yeah, I gave them the boot.

The Situation: Don't come over somebody's house at f*ckin' 5am & expect to play checkers.
Non-DTF Girl: I never said anything about checkers, OLD MAN!

Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino Quotes

I'm hooking up with my girl. Pauly is hooking up with his girl. And we're going to have sex. That's the situation.

Mike (The Situation)

I'm like, chill out, Freckles McGee.