I want you to love me in the way that I can show on Instagram.

Doctor: Peter is my favorite Jew.
Mindy: He's my favorite Jew as well.

Danny: The thing that's most beautiful about you is your confidence.
Mindy: Really? Because people say that is the most annoying part about me.

He's beautiful and strong even if he himself can't see it himself right now. Why can I say it about Morgan when he is lonely dirt child and can't say it about myself?

You're going to get hotter and hotter like George Clooney and I'm going to get fatter and fatter like Rosemary Clooney.

Mindy: Do I look gross?
Rishi: Oh I don't know. I mean I knew you when you had a perm and overalls and that was gross.

This was meant to be my love letter to America, but it ended up like every love letter I've ever written with the authorities being called.


Who am I kidding, everyone snoops? When I first went to your mom's house I tried on her wedding dress.

Jeremy: Come on, stop, Danny has never even been slightly embarrassed of you.
Mindy: Really? OK, that's a huge relief.
Jeremy: See, I can act, Morgan!

Mindy: Hi Friar. I'm Mindy. I so enjoyed speech.
Fr. Michael: Sermon.
Mindy: It was the best part of the show.
Fr. Michael: Mass.

To church? You killed someone, now I have to die of boredom.

Yes, biologically she is a boy, but who knows what she will identify with. I can still win.

Mindy Kaling Quotes

Well, I am just happy to work at a place that allows hunky drifters, like yourself, to get a second chance for, hopefully, committing a white collar crime?


I don't know why you're looking at me? I am mad charitable. I donated 2 cans of soup to get into a Katy Perry Q&A.