Abed: That's my newspaper.
Shirley: What do you need the paper for? You knew what was going to happen yesterday, you Middle Eastern magic 8-ball.

Shirley, Abed
Community Season 1 Episode 9: "Debate 109"
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Community Season 1 Episode 9 Quotes

Dean: What's it gonna take? A plum park space, free meals, a night of companionship, if you know what I mean?
Jeff: I'll do it for the parking space and if you promise not to tell mean what you mean

Pierce [to Britta]: Have you thought about hypnotherapy? I know a great hypno therapist
Jeff [to Britta]: Ten to one says it's him