The last six months have been the most intense in my life. I killed a man in the line of duty. I watched my Captain die. I fought for my own life more times than I can count and I felt every second of it. Yesterday you told me I would feel less the longer I did the job and a part of me wanted that so badly but I can’t go numb. It’s not who I am and it’s definitely not who I want to be, so if I’m going to do this job I have to feel all of it no matter what it does to me.

Nolan