Gabrielle: (to Carlos) You peed in my shampoo. Admit it! The cap was lose and I know how your sick mind works!
Carlos: (to Gabrielle) Oh really well in that case you should know that I wouldn't do it to your shampoo I'd do it to your mouthwash, soup and de-caffinated coffee!
Gabrielle: (to the girls) To answer your question, no we are not getting back together.
(They all pick up the coffee. stare at each other, and put the coffee down.)

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Gabrielle Solis, Carlos Solis
Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 4: "Like It Was"
Desperate Housewives
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Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 4 Quotes

Lynette: So if Tom was cheating, you wouldn't tell me?
Gabrielle: No! But I would hire someone to beat the crap out of him.
Lynette: Aww, you're sweet.

Edie: Ah, here's the picture that you took of me in my bikini at that pool party. You could've warned me I was showing a little nip. Oh, Susan Mayer. Remember her?
Mike: Yeah. She's pretty.
Edie: Yeah, she is, sort of, in this picture. Is there a date on this thing?
Mike: The nurses said that she visited me a lot. We were close, huh?
Edie: You have just come out of a coma. Can we not talk about Susan till you start to regain your strength?
Mike: Why?
Edie: Oh, God. I hate to be the one telling you this.
Mike: Well, if you don't want to...
Edie: That tramp treated you like dirt. She strung you along. She slept with other guys. You broke up with her twice.
Mike: Well, why did she keep visiting me when I was out of it?
Edie: Well, she's a bit of a stalker. I was worried that she was gonna come in here and disconnect one of the tubes or something. But don't worry. She's glommed on to some new guy, and she's up in the mountains at his place with him right now.
Mike: Wow. She told the nurses that she really loved me?
Edie: That's the one thing about Susan that you must not forget. She is a liar.