You protected yourself by denying yourself.
Alina: I wasn't aware I was Grisha. I was just doing whatever I could to not be separated from Mal.
Baghra: You protected yourself by denying yourself.
Alina: He was bullied when he was alone. I wasn't thinking of me; I was thinking of him. We planned to run away together.
Baghra: You had plans. Perhaps he never did because where is he now?
Alina: I don't know.
Baghra: Who are you holding back for, then? Bring the light.