American Woman Quotes

Kathleen: So, did your brand new job come with a brand new raise? Diana: Only if I come with a brand new penis.

Diana: When did you start taking valium? Kathleen: [slurring] Since I started getting stressed out.

Kathleen: Get your fingers out of my mouth! Bonnie: I’m afraid you don’t get to decide what goes into your mouth until you can make…

Bonnie: I like my life without you. I hate the club and all those people, and I hate that you don’t ask me what I want to drink. This is…

Diana: Mr. Bishop! Mr. Bishop: Yes? Diana: You know, I could fire Jeff if you want. [Mr. Bishop laughs]

Steve: I have always been in awe of what an incredible mother you are. Bonnie: If I was so great, why did you cheat on me? Steve: Because…

Steve: So, what’s wrong with you? People don’t usually end up on the bathroom floor until after they’ve been drinking? Bonnie: I got…

Mr. Bishop: You have no idea how hard it is to be a man these days. Diana: How hard it is to be a man. Are you serious? Try being a…

Mr. Bishop: I thought we were having a moment. Diana: Yes, we were. It’s called compassion. It’s when one person in nice to another…

Bonnie: What are you casting for right now? Kathleen: It’s for a teen hooker on Police Woman. Bonnie: She can play that!