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By Michael T. Stack

Lilly: So the monster’s name is Razor? That doesn’t sound safe. Brutus: It’s not. It refers to its 23,371 teeth, which coincidentally is…

By Michael T. Stack

Brutus: True love is the most important thing in any dimension. So what you need to do is ask him out! Nothing crazy, just see if he…

By Michael T. Stack

Christine: Jamison? If that’s you playing another one of your pranks I will be forced to tell you mo- My Lord and Savior! You’ve chosen…

By Michael T. Stack

Tearjerker: Let all those tears out my miserable lovelies. And I’ll tell you why you can’t stop crying… because you’re excellent party…

By Michael T. Stack

Brutus: Look, I can’t make you stay. Rule number 6795c. But you should know, the thing that has your friend is called the Tearjerker and…

By Michael T. Stack

Astrid: What Spell? Brutus: Oh you know, the one where you were standing 7.263 feet from each other. The copper, the fir tree bark, and…