Editor Rating
  • 4.3 / 5.0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
User Rating

Rating: 3.4 / 5.0 (12 Votes)
Review Quotes


Russ and Font are out cruising and ribbing each other when Font thinks he sees "Barkley Spades," a man wanted for insider trading. He takes off in hot pursuit, pretty sure he can catch him in his snazzy new car. Russ is holding a lava hot cup of coffee and doesn't want to die in front of a train and asks him to stop. He does, tossing hot coffee all over Russ.

Milt has to tell Font Barkley Spades committed suicide. Russ believes Font despite the evidence and thinks they should set out to prove Milt and the FBI wrong.

The Commander gives her OK for Font to take a look and Meredith will look over the autopsy if she can use Russ' car for a gag for her nephew.

Russ discovers how Spades fakes his suicide and back at the morgue the learn Meredith knows how he faked his death. She had an assist, though. Milt's in on it now.

They find him in by way of a German shop and all manage to get caught.

The commander rescues the group. When they emerge, there is a cute little piggy head on the table. Awww.

Milt continues to tell Russ what he learned about Holly on their lunch. She came from a wealthy family. He really thinks Russ needs to make his move before Holly goes on the cruise with her new boyfriend, but he sure is pushing back.

Font, Funk and Jacocks find Spades house and go inside. They seem a bit like the Brooklyn Nine-Nine team as they try to figure this stuff out. Finally, after realizing they may or may not be in the middle of a trap, Jacocks ties it back to the IRA, who timed their traps to go off five minutes after infiltrated. They run like hell and make it out.

Unfortunately, Russ notices a little blood on Font's collar. He had a giant thing sticking out of the back of his head. The surgery doesn't go smoothly and the doctor wonders if he has a living will.

Russ doesn't take the entire thing well, at all. Then Russ realizes someone had to have been looking on and watching, but they weren't. Russ thinks it was the little street officer who helped him on the bridge. When Milt and Russ work together, they're amazing.

Font wakes up to his wife and Holly talking about Russ never bothering to ask Holly out and her surprise that Font thinks Russ is in love with her. A girl can only wait so long.

Milt tries to force Russ to face the issue, but Russ can't. He drops the ball. Holly seems gutted.

Battle Creek
Episode Number:

Battle Creek Season 1 Episode 9 Quotes

Well would you be careful, this coffee's hot enough to melt hot steel!


Yeah, well listening to the hip hop doesn't make you hip, it makes you pathetic, like an old fart wearing skinny jeans.