A Ferengi vessel is attacked by the mysterious ship, but this time one of the crew members seems to anticipate the encounter.

Stardate 58901.5

The Cerritos is stationed in orbit at Ferenginar where Grand Nagus Rom and the other Ferengi leaders are submitting an application to join the Federation.

The Admiral believes it’ll be a simple signing, but Freeman cautions him that it may be more complicated.

Rom and Leeta arrive. They present a gift and the invoice for the gift.

On the Cerritos, Rutherford and Tendi are nerding out together. Boimler notices Mariner’s not herself.

Ransom arrives and assigns them all to Travel Guide Duty. Boimler immediately plans to overachieve. Tendi and Rutherford are asked to pretend to be married.

Once on the planet, Mariner heads off to see a friend and Boimler embarks on his unforgiving itinerary. Rutherford and Tendi go to check into the honeymoon hotel but their banter crosses the line into making them self-conscious and uncomfortable.

Before they’re able to back out and return to the ship, they are spotted and the concierge makes a big deal about their arrival.

Boimler checks into his hotel and rates the room quickly, prepared to head out to see the sites. However, he discovers commercials in the viewscreen programming and gets sucked into a series.

Mariner finds her friend, Quimp, in a restaurant and they sit down and catch up.

Mariner’s intent on getting sloppy drunk as fast as possible. Quimp’s willing to let loose, but is a little taken aback at Mariner’s reckless abandon.

On the Cerritos, Rom’s playing dumb and the Admiral offers to renegotiate the terms of the signing agreement, against Freeman’s warnings. The moment the terms are reopened, Rom and Leeta jump at the opportunity and begin rewriting much of the agreement.

Boimler continues to watch Ferengi view screen programming and product placement. He’s unable to tear himself away and doesn’t leave the room to start his sightseeing itinerary.

In their heart-themed suite, Rutherford and Tendi are still uncomfortable with the situation. Suddenly Parth, their “hug”cierge, arrives for their couples photo session, costumes in hand.

They run out before he can get them into lingerie.

Mariner and Quimp are out drinking at the public library. Quimp tries to bow out but Mariner insists he stay until they regret their actions. She picks a fight with a biker gang.

On the Cerritos, Rom suggests they conclude the contract discussion at the Grand Nagus’s palace. Once again, the Admiral ignores Freeman’s advice.

Tendi and Rutherford try to relax at the Starfleet themed restaurant. They decide to stop pretending to be a couple and go back to being friends. Parth appears and they learn the consequences of defrauding the establishment by pretending to be a couple to get the couple’s discount when a neighboring couple is sentenced to a lifetime working the sub-aquatic sulfur mines.

They are presented with sexy chocolate statues and forced to proclaim things they love about each other on lie-detecting chairs.

Quimp bails Mariner out of jail and bribes everyone he needs to to keep her fight from becoming an interplanetary incident. He tells her she’s angry about nothing and needs to get beyond the picking fights to get hurt stage of perpetual rebellion stage she seems stuck at.

Just as Rutherford and Tendi are about to be forced to consummate their marriage inside a blind box placed in the middle of the restaurant, Dr. Migleemo arrives. He nearly reveals their platonicness but Tendi uses it as an opportunity to pretend there is a romantic triangle between the three of them. They storm away and return to the ship.

The Admiral’s given Rom and Leeta everything they’ve asked for and Freeman presents the new agreement into which she’s added a generous signing bonus contingent on Ferenginar bringing another planet into the Federation. Rom signs it immediately but when Freeman reveals the planet they must recruit is Qo’NoS, the Klingon homeworld, he and Leeta realize Freeman’s used the Laws of Acquisition to swindle them. This proves respect for the Ferengi culture and Rom agrees to sign the standard agreement in return.

Back aboard the Cerritos, Ransom checks in on the LTJGs. Mariner’s hungover and Tendi and Rutherford admit their assignment was way outside their comfort zone. When Ransom asks where Boimler is, they realize he hasn’t returned to the ship. He’s still in his hotel room, watching the viewscreen shows.

Ransom makes contact and gives him a little warning that local authorities are coming to drag him back to the ship.