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The Tucson grew lay Gordon Vanderkruk (who was Gail's lover) to rest in a wake by the beach in Malibu. Phil watches undercover from a distance while Carol gives an awkward speech commemorating Gordon, and the Tucson crew weeks for Gordon.

In his RV, Phil whacks a ball around. Carol joins him in the RV. Phil asks her whether she's mentioned him to the group and she says she hasn't yet because of Gordon's wake.

Melissa shows Carol around Gordon's house, where the entire group had been living. Melissa expresses that he missed Carol and is glad Carol got her note. They hug. Melissa questions Carol about what happened with her and Tandy. Carol panics and spills her drink on herself to change the subject and escape the conversation.

As Carol is cleaning up in the bathroom, Phil 2 joins her and mentions that the last time he saw her they were making love. She apologizes for leaving Tucson without saying goodbye. Erica interrupts, asking what they're doing, and stakes her claim on Phil 2 by kissing him forcefully (which Phil 2 doesn't seem to enjoy much).

In the solarium, Gail gives a long speech about her lover Gordon, mentioning many of his egregious faults (chauvinist, mean drunk, body odor, etc.) Melissa changes the subject by welcoming Carol back. They question her about whether she was kidnapped by Tandy and they all insult him and express happiness that he didn't come to Malibu with her. When they ask what happened to Tandy, Carol lies and says he died but that she didn't have anything to do with his death (unlike Gordon's).

Carol returns to the RV where she tells Phil that she told the group he was dead and has returned to the RV to think about a possible cause of death for him. He is a bit upset about the lie, but Carol tries to convince him that with a bit of PR she can make them think more fondly of him now that he's "dead." Phil questions Carol about what the group has been up to. 

Carol recounts Phil's "death" at the Grand Canyon to Phil and Melissa, using her illustrations to tell a very detailed and dramatic story about Phil dying while rescuing her from falling off the Grand Canyon while she did a handstand there.

Todd begins to cry. Carol assumes he is weeping over Tandy but Todd clarifies that he is crying over Gordon. The three see Gail wearing black, writing Gordon's name in the sand and watching the tide wash it away for "spiritual healing."

Carol mimics Gail's idea and in mourning dress writes Tandy's name in the sand and watches it wash away while sobbing dramatically. Todd and Melissa watch and pity Carol. Gail approaches and scoffs at the idea that they should all welcome Carol back with open arms when she had already made her choice to join Tandy. Melissa and Todd express that Tandy was a jerk but that wasn't Carol's fault and she shouldn't be blamed. Gail disagrees.

Down on the beach where Carol is "mourning" Tandy, Phil 2 approaches. In reponse to Carol's advice about life being too short to waste it, he tells her that he broke up with Gail and tries to kiss Carol, telling her he wants to be with her. Carol recoils from the kiss.

Carol tells Phil about Phil 2 trying to kiss her on the beach. Phil is upset, but Carol comes up with a plan where Tandy will show up and surprise the group on her cue ("Here's... Tandy!") after she warms the group up to him. She promises that if it doesn't work they will just pack up and return to Tucson, where they'll never talk about the group again.

The group is assembled where Gail is trying to teach them CPR using a dummy dressed in Gordon's clothes. Carol apologizes again for Gordon's death and attempts to change the subject to good things about Tandy. The entire group just comes up with terrible things about him. Phil tries to get Carol to abort the mission, but she reintroduces him. The group walks off, annoyed that he is still alive.

Phil cries in his RV about being rejected by the group, while insulting them. Meanwhile, Carol goes to explain to the group that she and Phil are returning to Tucson. She gathers the group and continues to try to convince them that Phil has changed/that the Tandy they knew is dead. They begin to come around and ask her whether he really has changed, and Carol assures them that he has.

Back in the RV, Phil bemoans the fact that they are too good for him and he doesn't deserve them. He brainstorms a way to get them to come around and force them to accept his apology. This leads to him appearing suddenly before the group, just as they are coming around, brandishing a gun and threatening them not to move.

A crazed Tandy brandishes the gun, saying the only reason he has the gun is so they'll stick around and listen to his apology with their undivided attention. Tandy grants a heartfelt apology and compliment on each member of the group while simultaneously threatening them with being shot.

Carol chimes in, calling him a dummy and telling him they were about to give him a second chance. He becomes very happy, putting down the gun and assuring him that he'd never have hurt them. Cut to Phil 2 locking Phil in a wooden stock, telling him he'll remain there as long as Phil 2 wants him to. Melissa comments on Phil's beard, and then both Phil 2 and Melissa leave him there to suffer his punishment.

The Last Man on Earth
Episode Number:

The Last Man on Earth Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes

I did not know Gordon well. May he have a smooth journey to heaven... or hell. Again, I did not know him. By now, we are all so used to death as we have seen everyone in the world around us die. Every single person, dead. Just oodles and caboodles of death. Just heaps and piles... But Gordon will be missed.


Nobody knew Gordon the way I knew him. He was a friend, a companion, trusted advisor and a valued lover. Sure, he could be a real son of a bitch. He was so cranky in the mornings, and he cussed like a sailor. And he was a bad drunk. He was a mean drunk. Racially insensitive. Male chauvinist pig. Um, and there was the body odor, which was challenging for me, but now I look back and, you know, when somebody dies all that stuff just melts away and you're just left with the good memories. So, to Gordon. Easy come, easy go. [weeps]