"Hot Girl"

A hot girl comes to the office to sell purses, and every male in the office is immediately distracted by her beauty, attempting to win he...

"Basketball"

Michael organizes a basketball game - the office workers against the warehouse staff, with the losing team having to work on Saturday. J...

"The Alliance"

The staff hears rumors that the Scranton branch will be downsized, but Michael tries to distract everyone by throwing a birthday party &h...

"Health Care"

Michael doesn’t want to risk being unpopular with the staff, so he delegates the job of choosing a cheaper health care plan to Dwig...

"Diversity Day"

Due to Michael’s inappropriate comments, the office staff must sit through a seminar on diversity and tolerance. Offended at havin...

"Pilot"

Regional Manager Michael Scott learns his branch may be downsized and tries, unsuccessfully, to hide this information from his staff. Me...

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael