Maggie and Lauren are in bed having a great sex life. Lauren is very loud. She has decided to be gender monogamous. Maggie tells her to keep her options open. Wearing bras drives me nuts.

Diana is sooo excited to announce Charles for an Oprah award, so she wants Liza to sign her up for all the waxes. Kelsey needs Liza for, like, work though. Kelsey asks her expertise in the marketing arena. She kind of screws up the meeting.

Empirical's Big Swinging Dick. Oh my gosh.

Liza goes to Lauren for help on the Empiraconda. It just keeps popping up.

Maggie is searching for Belinda online.

Kelsey likes the price offered by Empirical, but is worried Kelsey and Liza aren't fun. She wants them to bring their boyfriends and meet her tonight so it's not a taco truck. She calls Liza the tall, awkward girl.

Jade seems to know Josh. To the clitterati. This chick is just full of new words.

Jade kept coming after him and he had to cheat on her to get rid of her. Of course, this all happened way before anyone knew Josh, but they blame him anyway.

Liza comes up with a great idea to get Jade back, but in her happiness, Jade tweets the Empiraconda.