The Office Quotes: "Two Weeks"

at . Comments

Last Thursday on The Office, Michael Scott lowered the productivity bar at work - who knew that was even possible - after giving his two-week notice to new V.P. Charles.

The results were hilarious. Below are some of the best quotes from "Two Weeks." Check them out, and be sure to browse our five-season library of The Office quotes!

Stanley: Can't you see I'm urinating?
Michael: Listen, Listen, Stanley. You don't have to answer me now.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Just... I want you to think about it, I'm starting my own company.
Stanley: No.
Michael: You're not letting me finish, and you just lost out on a million dollars.
Stanley: No I didn't. | permalink
Andy: The whole office feels darker, you know? It's just a sad dark day.
Phyllis: Andy, he's gone.
Andy: I know.
Phyllis: You don't have to kiss his ass anymore. | permalink
Michael: Jim! Jim? Buddy, Hey! Buddy, Jimbo? Did you have time to think about my offer?
Jim: I did have a chance to think about it, but then I thought about something else.
Michael: So which way are you leaning?
Jim: Well it is tempting but I am 100% leaning towards something else.
Michael: Thanks Jim. | permalink
Giving Notice
Michael: I had no idea when I got in that car and headed to New York I was going to quit. I got on that ramp and I thought two hours, two hours to go. Feeling good. Listen to some tunes. Should've peed before I left.
Kelly: Michael get to the good part.
Michael: Okay, so. I get up to the building, I get to the revolving door... broken! So I have to take the normal door.
Oscar: At least he is in the building.
Michael: No, No! I was so nervous it was the wrong building! I walked into the wrong building! | permalink
Michael: Pam, what you don't understand is that at my level you just don't look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.
Jim: You called any headhunters?
Michael: Any good headhunter knows I am available. | permalink
Charles: For regional manager I've decided to go with an outside hire. For obvious reasons. | permalink
Dwight: My German is pre-industrial and mostly religious. | permalink
Oscar: And just like that. As mysteriously as he arrived, he was gone. | permalink
Amazon Prime Instant Video
Catch up on your favorite shows on Amazon Prime
Start Your Free Month

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

Tags:

The Office Quotes

I know you're my boss, but you need to get the hell out of my face.

Ryan

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael