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The Office Quotes: "Casual Friday"

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Below you will find a sample of the best quotes from last week's episode of The Office, "Casual Friday," in which Michael Scott returned with a vengeance to Dunder-Mifflin.

Whether you missed it or just want to relive some of the best lines, prepare to laugh, and be sure to check out our library of The Office quotes from every single episode!

Kevin's Famous Chili
Kevin: At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famous Chili. The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot. I'm serious about this stuff. I'm up the night before pressing garlic and dicing whole tomatoes. I toast my own Ancho chilies. It's a recipe passed down from Malones for generations. It's probably the thing I do best. | permalink
Creed: I want to set you up with my daughter.
Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don't know. | permalink
Michael: When I needed salespeople for my new paper company, everyone here turned their back on me. Am I going to ask them to beg for forgiveness? No. Am I going to ask for big, crying apology? No. Am I going to ask them to slit their wrists for me? No. I just want a tiny, microscopic version of that. | permalink
Kelly: Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties?
Meredith: It's casual Friday. Happy? | permalink
Michael: So from the bottom of my heart to the top of my heart, I am sorry.
Stanley: Are you giving us our clients back?
Michael: If we could just focus and go down the line, and everyone would say, "apology accepted," I think we would all feel better. And then we can break out my gift to you - complimentary white chocolate bark.
Stanley: Nobody likes that except for you. | permalink
Ryan: I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. Is there anything I can do to make things better?
Dwight: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me the phone.
Ryan: Exactly.
Dwight: That's my client.
Ryan: Exactly. This is your first complaint in ten years.
Dwight: Give me the phone.
Ryan: Things have been generally good.
Dwight: Give me the phone. Tell him Dwight Schrute wants to talk to him.
Ryan: Look, uh, Mr. Bart...
Dwight: Hi, Mr. Bart.
Ryan: At these prices with this service...
Dwight: Hey, it's Dwight here. Give me the phone.
Ryan: You're not gonna find this anywhere else.
Dwight: Dwight Schrute here. Hey, don't hang up.
Ryan: No, no, no. Sir, don't listen.
Dwight: I know times are tough right now, and I laud your thriftiness. Ryan!
Phyllis: Ryan, hand the phone over.
Ryan: Stop flustering me, everybody! | permalink

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The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael