The Office Quotes: "The Promotion"

by at . Comments

While Pam tries to encourage people to just give her and her fiance cash instead of buying something off the wedding registry, groom-to-be Jim has bigger fish to fry.

Namely, how the heck he's going to handle his new joint management position with the perpetual pain in the a$$ that is Michael Scott ... and staving off a coup.

Needless to say, a vengeful, jealous and raging lunatic Dwight was at the center of said coup attempt. Check out our recap of "The Promotion" if you missed it.

Angry Dwight

Check out our complete collection of The Office quotes from this and every episode in the show's six season history. Some of the best lines from "The Promotion" ...

Dwight: I deserved that promotion, not Jim. It makes me want to put him in a triangle chokehold, and force him down to the ground and just keep pressing and pressing and then flip him over and put him in a hammerlock! And he's gasping! He's panicking. Every last breath! And the crowd is going crazy. And boom! I emerge victorious! Ah-ha! Eighteen thousand dollars and a chance at the title! Whewhaa! | permalink
Kelly: I love rivalries. Michael or Jim. Paris or Nicole. Heidi or LC. It's so much fun. But, I guess if I'm really thinking about it and answering your question honestly, I'd have to go with LC. Heidi's a bad friend. And her skin, is terrible. | permalink
Creed: Hey, why haven't we ever, uh...
Meredith: We have. | permalink
Michael: You know what eats a large amount of the day? Naps. You go to sleep it's light out, you wake up it's dark. That's the whole day. Where did that day go? I have no idea.
Jim: You mean on a weekend.
Michael: [pause] Yes. | permalink
Jim: I've been studying Michael for years and I've condensed what I've learned into this chart. [holds up pie chart] "How Michael Spends His Time." You can see we have "procrastinating," and "distracting others," and this tiny sliver here, is "critical thinking." I made it bigger. So that you could see it. | permalink

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

Tags: ,
Like Us On Facebook

Want more The Office?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

More From TV Fanatic


Tyrant Review: Turning Point

On Tyrant, Bassam attempts to find a peaceful resolution instead of a revolution. Will he succeed?

Covert Affairs Review: Honesty

On tonight's Covert Affairs, Annie and Auggie switch jobs and head to Paris. Will Auggie succeed in the field with Annie as his handler?

The Real Housewives of New York City Review: Leg-endary Finale

A leg went flying on The Real Housewives of New York City this week. You must read this review.

Perception Review: Gone Baby Gone

On Perception, Daniel and Kate try to track down a missing baby. Kate also must deal with Donnie's talks about their own future children.